After spending almost a week in the L.A. area, I can safely say I never want to live there, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER. TOO ugly, too many highways, too much jacked-up stucco, and too much smog. there, i've said my peace.
HOWEVER, the reason I was in L.A. was for a conference by the Zero to Three people. It is a very well-respected group (co-founded by one Mr. T. Berry Brazelton...awww! he's awesome!!). I attended some really great sessions, and some really crappy ones. Here are some highlights...
* Gotta read "The Philosophical Baby" by Allison Gopnik. She is a FABULOUS speaker with all kinds of cool information on research on babies and toddlers. Behold...
--At 40 minutes of age, newborns are actually able to imitate human gestures like sticking out their tongue. Babies are amazing!
--At 18 months of age, babies can understand differences in desire. If an experimenter pretends to love broccoli rather than goldfish crackers and the babies are asked to give broccoli and crackers to the researcher, they will always give the person what they want. However, at 15 months, the babies will always give the researchers the crackers...afterall that's what they'd prefer! Babies are amazing!
--**My favorite**At 14 months, babies can understand altruism. They will crawl across a room to give researchers the pen they've dropped and "can't reach". Babies are NICE!
--By 4 years of age, they've learned that beliefs can be false and differ among people...and that beliefs can change. An experimenter shows a 4 year old a box of candies. When the child opens the box, there are only pencils. The 4 year old will say they thought there were candies, but now knows there are pencils. 3 year olds will say they ALWAYS thought there were pencils. Babies are ADORABLE! (fyi, children with autism spectrum disorder often don't develop this ability until 8-9 years of age).
--There's a study by Simon Baron-Cohen (Borat's cousin) that shows that if you look at videos of 1st birthday parties of children who have have since been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, you'll notice that they don't engage in the pointing, joint-attention, gaze-following or imitation behaviors of typically developing children. Babies are FASCINATING!
--Children are regulated by their own intrinsic need to be "good". Mothers who talk about feelings have children with higher emotional "IQ". Babies are SMART!
--Children as young as 6 months can recognize and prefer the baby doll that looks most like them.
--(Sad) When a black child was asked to play with a doll house and dolls of various races and ethnicities, the child put the white family downstairs and the black family upstairs because the black family were the renters and the white family owned the house. Babies are aware of social messages!
--Most psychotropic medications that are prescribed to young children are prescribed by pediatricians, NOT psychiatrists. From '91 to 2001, use of this medication has increased 10-fold! There is NO evidence that these medications are effective (let alone appropriate) for children 3 or younger. Most of these drugs have not even been approved for children under 6! The vast majority of children on these medicines are boys (71%).
--T. Berry Brazelton says that children have 'breakdowns' before major steps in development. They tend to "regress" before they "progress". Just know that if they're on the verge of a major milestone, they'll act a little nutty, but you'll both get through it and it will be all better. Babies are FUN!
I'll post about disney with pictures and everything later. it's time for me to put away my little notes and go home!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
The most wonderful time of the year...
So it has begun. It's officially Christmastime. Yeehaw! My favorite time of year. What I love as much as the food and seeing family and friends is the incessant holiday music everywhere I go.
Christmas music is probably my favorite musical genre. No matter how crappy you're feeling, if you hear that favorite holiday tune from your childhood, somehow you're transported to a Norman Rockwell-inspired false memory of Christmases past. Never mind that in reality Christmas was a season of almost non-stop stress, resentment and venom, in your mind it's all snowy cabins with otters and Rudolph.
Because of my love of Christmas music, I listen to the Christmas radio station most of the time I'm in my car..and at home. ANYhoooo, I consider myself to be a bit of a Christmas music expert. Here are some helpful tips for assembling your own Xmas Mix playlist...
BEWARE the following:
--"Let is Snow" by freakin Gloria Estefan. I generally can't stand her voice anyway, but when she assaults a perfectly nice song and adds an 80s Casio keyboard??? Turd-worthy.
--Mannheim Steamroller and/or Trans-Siberian Orchestra. It's ok in bits and pieces, but too much and it incites one to grab a New Yorker magazine and smack every last nerd off his "instrument". Especially when TSO starts the guitar solo. Rule of thumb: guitar riffs do NOT equal holiday cheer. duh.
--"This Christmas" by anyone. Awful. I love a little r&b as much as the next gal, but this song is just awful. Too much jazzy syncopation and just plain lame.
--The Beach Boys. They needed to stick to what they did best--surfer music and weed. "Little St. Nick"?!?! Who needs to hear "run run reindeer" 15 times in 2 minutes?!?!?
--"Wonderful Christmastime" by Paul McCartney. It's a well-known fact that SIR Paul has sucked for about 40 years now. One shudders to think about what the Beatles might have been, had they been left in the hands of only McCartney. This abomination of a song has all the soul-sucking power that only a McCartney s***-sandwich can generate. Again, it features a VERY dated Casio keyboard + a repetative chorus ("simply haaaaaving a wonderful christmastime") that tears at your earholes.
--"Feliz Navidad" by Jose Feliciano. Bless his heart, I know he's blind. But come ON! Surely he could have come up with a few more words for a song that lasts 18 minutes! I get it, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year...in SPANISH! Caramba!
--"Zat you, Santa Claus" by Louis Armstrong. ugh. This song just makes me anxious. In his voice it sounds ominous. Definitely NOT festive, just scary.
--Just stay away from these "artists" in general: AARON NEVILLE (unless you like that falsetto warble of his), James Taylor (just threw up in my mouf), Bon Jovi or Bruce Springsteen (unless you're from the east coast, in which case you lurv them).
--Also avoid anything with the words "smooth" and/or "jazz" before the word "Christmas" unless you're looking for a beat-down. There's a surprising amount of jazz Christmas music out there and I warn you now, it just sneaks in there! You're enjoying a perfectly normal sounding instrumental and all of a sudden the saxophone or brush-on-snare drum kick in and it's OVER!
This one is beyond bad. It's DANGEROUS!
--"Christmastime is here"(aka the Peanuts xmas song). HOLY CRAP git yer MEDS! If you suffer at ALL from any kind of depression, do NOT listen to this song. It's literally 6+ minutes of torture. I don't know if it's the minor key, the little kids moaning about christmastime being here, or the requiem-like tempo but this song is the biggest bummer EVER. How Charles "I never heard a piece of crap jazz tune I didn't like...and put it into my tv shows" Schultz ever convinced television dudes to include it in his equally depressing Christmas special is beyond me. That sad little tree crap does NOT fly with me, jack. Y'all don't KNOW how I would cry looking at all the sad little trees at the tree lots on Christmas eve. I blame Mr. Peanuts for that. Where's my lexapro and xanax-chaser????
THESE are great:
--"Oh holy night" by Tevin Campbell. A classic. Just KNOW dat.
--"Christmas (Baby please come home)" by U2. The best rendition of a novelty xmas song EVER. Love u2.
--"All I want for Christmas is You" by Mariah Carey. OMG. This. Song. Makes. Me. Want. To. DAAAAAANCE around the xmas tree! So fun, and happy and cheerful and festive. Everything you could hope for in a Christmas song. Go, mariah!
--"Happy Xmas" by John Lennon. Ok, this one just squeaked onto the 'nice' list. It's got WAY too much repetition and those kids and Yoko singing makes me nuts. HOWEVER, compared to what that ass-munch Paul McCartney did, it's a freakin classic.
--"Blue Christmas" by Elvis. Yes, it's sad, but it's dang-old ELVIS! Makes you want to make his Christmas all sweet and cheery, poor dear.
--"White Christmas" by Bing Crosby. So laidback it's like a contact-buzz! Makes you all warm and fuzzy inside.
--"Adeste Fideles" by Frank Sinatra. Makes you feel all smart and s*** cuz you can sing in LATIN, fool! YIS!
--4 words: "Ave Maria" by Liberace. If you've never heard it, check that s*** OUT! Unreal.
There. I hope you feel ready to troll through iTunes and find your OWN list of naughty or nice xmas songs! You're welcome.
Christmas music is probably my favorite musical genre. No matter how crappy you're feeling, if you hear that favorite holiday tune from your childhood, somehow you're transported to a Norman Rockwell-inspired false memory of Christmases past. Never mind that in reality Christmas was a season of almost non-stop stress, resentment and venom, in your mind it's all snowy cabins with otters and Rudolph.
Because of my love of Christmas music, I listen to the Christmas radio station most of the time I'm in my car..and at home. ANYhoooo, I consider myself to be a bit of a Christmas music expert. Here are some helpful tips for assembling your own Xmas Mix playlist...
BEWARE the following:
--"Let is Snow" by freakin Gloria Estefan. I generally can't stand her voice anyway, but when she assaults a perfectly nice song and adds an 80s Casio keyboard??? Turd-worthy.
--Mannheim Steamroller and/or Trans-Siberian Orchestra. It's ok in bits and pieces, but too much and it incites one to grab a New Yorker magazine and smack every last nerd off his "instrument". Especially when TSO starts the guitar solo. Rule of thumb: guitar riffs do NOT equal holiday cheer. duh.
--"This Christmas" by anyone. Awful. I love a little r&b as much as the next gal, but this song is just awful. Too much jazzy syncopation and just plain lame.
--The Beach Boys. They needed to stick to what they did best--surfer music and weed. "Little St. Nick"?!?! Who needs to hear "run run reindeer" 15 times in 2 minutes?!?!?
--"Wonderful Christmastime" by Paul McCartney. It's a well-known fact that SIR Paul has sucked for about 40 years now. One shudders to think about what the Beatles might have been, had they been left in the hands of only McCartney. This abomination of a song has all the soul-sucking power that only a McCartney s***-sandwich can generate. Again, it features a VERY dated Casio keyboard + a repetative chorus ("simply haaaaaving a wonderful christmastime") that tears at your earholes.
--"Feliz Navidad" by Jose Feliciano. Bless his heart, I know he's blind. But come ON! Surely he could have come up with a few more words for a song that lasts 18 minutes! I get it, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year...in SPANISH! Caramba!
--"Zat you, Santa Claus" by Louis Armstrong. ugh. This song just makes me anxious. In his voice it sounds ominous. Definitely NOT festive, just scary.
--Just stay away from these "artists" in general: AARON NEVILLE (unless you like that falsetto warble of his), James Taylor (just threw up in my mouf), Bon Jovi or Bruce Springsteen (unless you're from the east coast, in which case you lurv them).
--Also avoid anything with the words "smooth" and/or "jazz" before the word "Christmas" unless you're looking for a beat-down. There's a surprising amount of jazz Christmas music out there and I warn you now, it just sneaks in there! You're enjoying a perfectly normal sounding instrumental and all of a sudden the saxophone or brush-on-snare drum kick in and it's OVER!
This one is beyond bad. It's DANGEROUS!
--"Christmastime is here"(aka the Peanuts xmas song). HOLY CRAP git yer MEDS! If you suffer at ALL from any kind of depression, do NOT listen to this song. It's literally 6+ minutes of torture. I don't know if it's the minor key, the little kids moaning about christmastime being here, or the requiem-like tempo but this song is the biggest bummer EVER. How Charles "I never heard a piece of crap jazz tune I didn't like...and put it into my tv shows" Schultz ever convinced television dudes to include it in his equally depressing Christmas special is beyond me. That sad little tree crap does NOT fly with me, jack. Y'all don't KNOW how I would cry looking at all the sad little trees at the tree lots on Christmas eve. I blame Mr. Peanuts for that. Where's my lexapro and xanax-chaser????
THESE are great:
--"Oh holy night" by Tevin Campbell. A classic. Just KNOW dat.
--"Christmas (Baby please come home)" by U2. The best rendition of a novelty xmas song EVER. Love u2.
--"All I want for Christmas is You" by Mariah Carey. OMG. This. Song. Makes. Me. Want. To. DAAAAAANCE around the xmas tree! So fun, and happy and cheerful and festive. Everything you could hope for in a Christmas song. Go, mariah!
--"Happy Xmas" by John Lennon. Ok, this one just squeaked onto the 'nice' list. It's got WAY too much repetition and those kids and Yoko singing makes me nuts. HOWEVER, compared to what that ass-munch Paul McCartney did, it's a freakin classic.
--"Blue Christmas" by Elvis. Yes, it's sad, but it's dang-old ELVIS! Makes you want to make his Christmas all sweet and cheery, poor dear.
--"White Christmas" by Bing Crosby. So laidback it's like a contact-buzz! Makes you all warm and fuzzy inside.
--"Adeste Fideles" by Frank Sinatra. Makes you feel all smart and s*** cuz you can sing in LATIN, fool! YIS!
--4 words: "Ave Maria" by Liberace. If you've never heard it, check that s*** OUT! Unreal.
There. I hope you feel ready to troll through iTunes and find your OWN list of naughty or nice xmas songs! You're welcome.
Friday, November 14, 2008
jet settin'
I've been on 5 airplane trips in 6 weeks! WTF?!?! Granted, most were short hops for work, but holy crap! I'm due for another flight for work in less than 3 weeks and then 2 weeks after that I'm flying home for Christmas! SHEEEESH!
I wish I had some hilarious witticisms on travel, but I ain't no stinkin comedian. I'm just tarred and ready for a weekend without the suitcase lurking. Here are a few recent thoughts on air travel....
* The only thing worse than being behind a family with small children at the airport security line is being behind the airline crew--especially the fabulously young guys. These guys have about a million electronic devices and ziploc bags that need to be removed from their high maintenence heavy-duty luggage!
* I wish I were a hottie-who-travels. These pharmacy reps (or whatever they do) wear cheap but tight black suits, high heels, they have hot purses and a real hairdo. Whatever it is they do, it must be pretty lucrative to pay for them boobs, too! I ungracefully schlep my way through the airport in baggy pants, a sweater and Danskos (easy to remove and COMFY) with a wet head--too lazy to dry my hair. NOT hot.
*Commuter airline gates at PDX = bus stations. Seriously. Ewww.
*God bless the sweet when you're traveling. For reals. I was having a particularly rough time of managing 2 rolling bags, my purse, and a sweater at the DFW rental car pavilion earlier this week. I hoisted one bag onto the bus that would take me to the terminal, turned to grab the other and noticed I'd dropped my sweater on the ground. By the time I picked up my sweater and turned to hoist bag #2, I saw a VERY attractive young man pick up bag #2 (about 50 lbs)and put it on the rack thingy. Awww!! So nice! Ain't no stranger ever done such a sweet thing for me in Portland, that's for sure! Suh-WEEET!
*To 'pay it forward' I switched my seat on the flight back to Portland so a hippie could sit with his girlfriend. Does karma count if by switching seats I also just happened to move about 10 rows up and away from a crying baby??
*I'm pretty sure I was snoring on the flight back to Portland. Pathetic.
*Helpful hint: NEVER volunteer to sit next to a chatty unaccompanied minor unless you're looking to be canonized as a saint....which I am not.
*Turbulence = me s****ing my pants. beware.
happy travels, suckas!
I wish I had some hilarious witticisms on travel, but I ain't no stinkin comedian. I'm just tarred and ready for a weekend without the suitcase lurking. Here are a few recent thoughts on air travel....
* The only thing worse than being behind a family with small children at the airport security line is being behind the airline crew--especially the fabulously young guys. These guys have about a million electronic devices and ziploc bags that need to be removed from their high maintenence heavy-duty luggage!
* I wish I were a hottie-who-travels. These pharmacy reps (or whatever they do) wear cheap but tight black suits, high heels, they have hot purses and a real hairdo. Whatever it is they do, it must be pretty lucrative to pay for them boobs, too! I ungracefully schlep my way through the airport in baggy pants, a sweater and Danskos (easy to remove and COMFY) with a wet head--too lazy to dry my hair. NOT hot.
*Commuter airline gates at PDX = bus stations. Seriously. Ewww.
*God bless the sweet when you're traveling. For reals. I was having a particularly rough time of managing 2 rolling bags, my purse, and a sweater at the DFW rental car pavilion earlier this week. I hoisted one bag onto the bus that would take me to the terminal, turned to grab the other and noticed I'd dropped my sweater on the ground. By the time I picked up my sweater and turned to hoist bag #2, I saw a VERY attractive young man pick up bag #2 (about 50 lbs)and put it on the rack thingy. Awww!! So nice! Ain't no stranger ever done such a sweet thing for me in Portland, that's for sure! Suh-WEEET!
*To 'pay it forward' I switched my seat on the flight back to Portland so a hippie could sit with his girlfriend. Does karma count if by switching seats I also just happened to move about 10 rows up and away from a crying baby??
*I'm pretty sure I was snoring on the flight back to Portland. Pathetic.
*Helpful hint: NEVER volunteer to sit next to a chatty unaccompanied minor unless you're looking to be canonized as a saint....which I am not.
*Turbulence = me s****ing my pants. beware.
happy travels, suckas!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
pinch me!!
omg!! can't freakin believe what i saw last night! i was prepared to be disappointed. i've had 8 hears of practice, afterall.... even after the speeches i was afraid breathe a sigh of relief. when i saw that beautiful family come out and wave, i finally got the lump in the throat and realized that the 8 years of waking nightmares was over. it was like seeing bill clinton in 92--taking control after so many long dreadful years of republican domination.
no, it wasn't seeing jesse jackson weeping for the camera that got me...it was seeing that young presidential family take the stage that got me. so young, and talented, and accomplished, and INTELLIGENT..it was like a beam of sunlight. good riddance to that baffoon and his criminal cronies. there are no curses strong or offensive enough to express my true feelings about that as****e, and no flowery praise worthy to express my true feelings about Mr. Obama.
All I can say is....thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou AMERICA!!!!!!!!!!
no, it wasn't seeing jesse jackson weeping for the camera that got me...it was seeing that young presidential family take the stage that got me. so young, and talented, and accomplished, and INTELLIGENT..it was like a beam of sunlight. good riddance to that baffoon and his criminal cronies. there are no curses strong or offensive enough to express my true feelings about that as****e, and no flowery praise worthy to express my true feelings about Mr. Obama.
All I can say is....thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou AMERICA!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, November 2, 2008
c list--quick and yummy!
because i'm smelling so dang yummy and lovely, i had to post about a few things i'm loving right now!!
i'm SOOOO in love with the "luminous body cream" by L'Occitane right now!! OMG I got a tiny sample of it before it was released and as soon as it came out I was front and center to get my very own bottle. YUM! it's got a light fragrance, so it's not cheesy-flowery and a tiny bit of shimmer to highlight my awesome mexican tan (full-on ecru, son!). the shimmer isn't all stripper, just really subtle. nice. LOVE IT! i just hope it's rich enough for my scaly legs and arms when the weather gets colder.
the other thing they have that i LOVE is the 'after sun' lotion. I got some on vacation, but it was confiscated and thrown away at the cancun airport. MF-ers!! It just smells so dang good!!!!! If you tan a lot, it might be worth it. Smells SOOOO good!!!
holy crap, how fun is Real Housewives of Atlanta?!?!?! LOVE those girls. They're so over-the-top and nutty! I never really liked the gals from Orange County or NYC, but these girls are great!! LOVE them!
FALLING BACK!!! I love having an extra hour! I felt all earlybird this morning! I woke up in time to watch Meet the Press! HOLLA! Way to seize the day!
i'm SOOOO in love with the "luminous body cream" by L'Occitane right now!! OMG I got a tiny sample of it before it was released and as soon as it came out I was front and center to get my very own bottle. YUM! it's got a light fragrance, so it's not cheesy-flowery and a tiny bit of shimmer to highlight my awesome mexican tan (full-on ecru, son!). the shimmer isn't all stripper, just really subtle. nice. LOVE IT! i just hope it's rich enough for my scaly legs and arms when the weather gets colder.
the other thing they have that i LOVE is the 'after sun' lotion. I got some on vacation, but it was confiscated and thrown away at the cancun airport. MF-ers!! It just smells so dang good!!!!! If you tan a lot, it might be worth it. Smells SOOOO good!!!
holy crap, how fun is Real Housewives of Atlanta?!?!?! LOVE those girls. They're so over-the-top and nutty! I never really liked the gals from Orange County or NYC, but these girls are great!! LOVE them!
FALLING BACK!!! I love having an extra hour! I felt all earlybird this morning! I woke up in time to watch Meet the Press! HOLLA! Way to seize the day!
Sunday, October 26, 2008
This AIN'T my Texas!!!
So last weekend I drove from San Antonio to Portland, Texas to surprise my mom for her 60th bay. It was a beautiful Sunday morning: sunny, warm, breezy, clear as a mutha-f-ing bell. Just perfect. Made me really homesick for the beautiful Texas hill country and coastal bend....until....I came upon this van about an hour south of San Antonio. Thank goodness I had the camera right next to me.
(it reads: Christians agains Hussain Obama Dangerous Muslim and has pictures of Michelle Obama.)
THIS is precisely why I can't consider moving back to Texas right now. I know this kind of ridiculous crap is rampant across our United States, but somehow it just hurts a lot more when I see/hear it in Texas. THIS is not my Texas. My Texas was never one of the more progressive states in the Union, but holy s$##. This is just depressing. Where's our LBJ? Where's our Lloyd Bentsen? Where's our Barbara Jordan or Ann Richards? Dead and buried...and seemingly forgotten. It just breaks my heart.
When I read, hear, or see crazy stuff like this in Oregon (usually outside of the Portland/Salem/Eugene area), I can dismiss it as those 'f-ed up Oregonians'. I really don't have an emotional investment in the state of Oregon. I love where I live and I'm happy to be in a place with so many like-minded people, but for the most part, I don't feel attached to Oregon. I don't care if the state is full of redneck rubes, it's not my state.
But Texas....dear Texas....that's another story. I can't be there seeing the poor, the minorities, the old being duped into believing Republican lies. My own father has been seduced by AM talk radio. Thankfully, his deep Democratic roots wouldn't let him vote against his own interests and vote for McCain. But what about next time? When he's 67--with 4 more years of Republican mind-washing? If my own blue-collar, God-fearing, "the man"-hating, yellow-dog-Democrat father can fall victim to their lies, no wonder my home state is where it's at.
PLEASE, let Obama be the hope and the change needed to show everyone, particularly Texans, the truth about Republicans. That they're NOT interested in helping the poor, the old, the minorities or anyone, for that matter, who makes less than $500,000 a year. They cry about taxes, but they're not the ones paying them! The rich always manage to weasel out of paying their taxes. Why else would anyone "bank" in the Cayman Islands and Dubai?? To avoid being taxed!
Deep cleansing breath....vote obama. He's sweet.
(it reads: Christians agains Hussain Obama Dangerous Muslim and has pictures of Michelle Obama.)
THIS is precisely why I can't consider moving back to Texas right now. I know this kind of ridiculous crap is rampant across our United States, but somehow it just hurts a lot more when I see/hear it in Texas. THIS is not my Texas. My Texas was never one of the more progressive states in the Union, but holy s$##. This is just depressing. Where's our LBJ? Where's our Lloyd Bentsen? Where's our Barbara Jordan or Ann Richards? Dead and buried...and seemingly forgotten. It just breaks my heart.
When I read, hear, or see crazy stuff like this in Oregon (usually outside of the Portland/Salem/Eugene area), I can dismiss it as those 'f-ed up Oregonians'. I really don't have an emotional investment in the state of Oregon. I love where I live and I'm happy to be in a place with so many like-minded people, but for the most part, I don't feel attached to Oregon. I don't care if the state is full of redneck rubes, it's not my state.
But Texas....dear Texas....that's another story. I can't be there seeing the poor, the minorities, the old being duped into believing Republican lies. My own father has been seduced by AM talk radio. Thankfully, his deep Democratic roots wouldn't let him vote against his own interests and vote for McCain. But what about next time? When he's 67--with 4 more years of Republican mind-washing? If my own blue-collar, God-fearing, "the man"-hating, yellow-dog-Democrat father can fall victim to their lies, no wonder my home state is where it's at.
PLEASE, let Obama be the hope and the change needed to show everyone, particularly Texans, the truth about Republicans. That they're NOT interested in helping the poor, the old, the minorities or anyone, for that matter, who makes less than $500,000 a year. They cry about taxes, but they're not the ones paying them! The rich always manage to weasel out of paying their taxes. Why else would anyone "bank" in the Cayman Islands and Dubai?? To avoid being taxed!
Deep cleansing breath....vote obama. He's sweet.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
mexican memories: dos
Here are a few more I just remembered....
--NOW: I could feel my thigh-hairs blowing in the wind as I was sunning myself. Sadly, somewhere along the line I've become my mom and have stopped shaving above the knee as often as I should. THEN, I would have shaved every bit of my legs...and then some. Meow! (not to worry, I was appalled at myself and promptly got rid of the long locks blowing in the wind--a gross feeling, by the way)
--NOW: I listened to my iPod on the beach....of a 60 Minutes podcast!!!!! WTF?!?!?! Seriously, how OLD am I??!?!?!?!?! THEN, I toted a 40-lb boombox from Texas to Cancun in order to listen to Soundgarden CDs, and now I'm listening to something only 80 year-olds care about?!?! ugh. sad. I blame the upcoming election for this behavior.
--NOW: I carried a purse everywhere I went...with a packet of kleenex in it! Only grandmas carry a permanent stash of Kleenex on them at all times! THEN, it was $ and lipstick (wine with everything by Revlon)and a hotel key in the pocket and that was IT!
--NOW: I wore long skirts to hide my girth and BodyGlide to prevent chafing from my giant thighs rubbing together. THEN: two words--Daisy Dukes.
Regardless, I intend on going back to the area again and again, as long as I can. It's just too beautiful. The water in Cancun is so turquoise, it truly almost hurts to look at it. So vibrant. I hope to add a photo of the water soon...gotta download from the camera.
Can't wait to go back. If my lady-bits don't work and there aren't any babies in my future, expect to find me plunking down my $$$ on a beachfront condo. My fantasy is to look like this lady by the time I'm 45.
--NOW: I could feel my thigh-hairs blowing in the wind as I was sunning myself. Sadly, somewhere along the line I've become my mom and have stopped shaving above the knee as often as I should. THEN, I would have shaved every bit of my legs...and then some. Meow! (not to worry, I was appalled at myself and promptly got rid of the long locks blowing in the wind--a gross feeling, by the way)
--NOW: I listened to my iPod on the beach....of a 60 Minutes podcast!!!!! WTF?!?!?! Seriously, how OLD am I??!?!?!?!?! THEN, I toted a 40-lb boombox from Texas to Cancun in order to listen to Soundgarden CDs, and now I'm listening to something only 80 year-olds care about?!?! ugh. sad. I blame the upcoming election for this behavior.
--NOW: I carried a purse everywhere I went...with a packet of kleenex in it! Only grandmas carry a permanent stash of Kleenex on them at all times! THEN, it was $ and lipstick (wine with everything by Revlon)and a hotel key in the pocket and that was IT!
--NOW: I wore long skirts to hide my girth and BodyGlide to prevent chafing from my giant thighs rubbing together. THEN: two words--Daisy Dukes.
Regardless, I intend on going back to the area again and again, as long as I can. It's just too beautiful. The water in Cancun is so turquoise, it truly almost hurts to look at it. So vibrant. I hope to add a photo of the water soon...gotta download from the camera.
Can't wait to go back. If my lady-bits don't work and there aren't any babies in my future, expect to find me plunking down my $$$ on a beachfront condo. My fantasy is to look like this lady by the time I'm 45.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
mexican memories
I halfway composed this blog while sunning myself on the beach a couple of weeks ago, but life being as it is I'm just now getting around to actually writing it up!
My husband and I recently spent a week near Playa del Carmen and I had all sorts of thoughts and observations swirling around. This was the first time I visited the Cancun area with a man...and only the 2nd time I'd been there not "on the prowl". What a weird sensation, I have to say. Here's a brief list of things that are different in Mexico as a 36 year old married woman than as a 24 year old single lady....
--NOW: there's a LOT more of me to love. I think I'm 40 pounds heavier than the first time I visited Cancun at age 20. At this rate I'll be 800 pounds by the time I go at age 50! Slow down, vaca!
--NOW:i stayed at a fancy resort...not the cheap-ass place that was available for 2 nights/3 days for $239 air/hotel included. Then again, it was not exactly about the hotel back then. It was all about having a place to change from swimsuits to skank-wear and sleep off the buzz before starting over again.
--NOW: i was in bed watching tv (YES, TV!! i love it!) by 11:00 every night. Shoot, back in the day, that's when we'd be transitioning from beer to hard alcohol...with tragic consequences.
--NOW: i actually ate good, quality, mexican food. Then, I remember eating at DENNEY'S and KFC!! WTF?!?! Of course, that was after eating guacamole, chips and quesadillas all day.
--NOW: I drove past the clubs in Cancun...during the daytime. Then, we'd close the dang things down! We even rode in the back of a pickup with a bunch of the waiters back to our hotel! WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!? (sad note: of our favorite bars, only Daddy O's is still around. La Boom is bust, Fat Tuesday's is gone, Tequila Rock is a fancy shopping center...SAD!!)
--Now: I didn't flirt with a single waiter!! Then, if we weren't kissing them, dancing with them, hugging them or taking their pictures, we were screaming at them about how awesome they were and how much we wanted to live in Cancun.
--Now: I was referred to as "Señora". OUCH. Then, I was "chica, linda, amor" etc. Damn my husband (and the aging process)(or ruining my game!
I'll add to this with more mexican memories...for now i gotta go home and wash down my sorrows with tequila and lime.
My husband and I recently spent a week near Playa del Carmen and I had all sorts of thoughts and observations swirling around. This was the first time I visited the Cancun area with a man...and only the 2nd time I'd been there not "on the prowl". What a weird sensation, I have to say. Here's a brief list of things that are different in Mexico as a 36 year old married woman than as a 24 year old single lady....
--NOW: there's a LOT more of me to love. I think I'm 40 pounds heavier than the first time I visited Cancun at age 20. At this rate I'll be 800 pounds by the time I go at age 50! Slow down, vaca!
--NOW:i stayed at a fancy resort...not the cheap-ass place that was available for 2 nights/3 days for $239 air/hotel included. Then again, it was not exactly about the hotel back then. It was all about having a place to change from swimsuits to skank-wear and sleep off the buzz before starting over again.
--NOW: i was in bed watching tv (YES, TV!! i love it!) by 11:00 every night. Shoot, back in the day, that's when we'd be transitioning from beer to hard alcohol...with tragic consequences.
--NOW: i actually ate good, quality, mexican food. Then, I remember eating at DENNEY'S and KFC!! WTF?!?! Of course, that was after eating guacamole, chips and quesadillas all day.
--NOW: I drove past the clubs in Cancun...during the daytime. Then, we'd close the dang things down! We even rode in the back of a pickup with a bunch of the waiters back to our hotel! WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!? (sad note: of our favorite bars, only Daddy O's is still around. La Boom is bust, Fat Tuesday's is gone, Tequila Rock is a fancy shopping center...SAD!!)
--Now: I didn't flirt with a single waiter!! Then, if we weren't kissing them, dancing with them, hugging them or taking their pictures, we were screaming at them about how awesome they were and how much we wanted to live in Cancun.
--Now: I was referred to as "Señora". OUCH. Then, I was "chica, linda, amor" etc. Damn my husband (and the aging process)(or ruining my game!
I'll add to this with more mexican memories...for now i gotta go home and wash down my sorrows with tequila and lime.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
me + cardio classes at gym = uncoordinated mess!
Because of my high school's woefully pathetic cheerleading "squad", I've long believed that cheerleading had nothing to do with preparation for useful, valuable or interesting life skills. Well, let me just say, I was WRONG!
The only "skills" our high school cheerleaders had involved doing that jump in the air with one leg in front, the other cocked back in some hook, or something, and screaming "go cats" every 3 seconds. HOWEVER, I'm pretty sure even THEY were trained in the art of the 'step-ball-change', 'grapevine, and the ever-elusive 'air-jack'.
How I wish I'd been enrolled in a dance class where I might have learned these things instead of 5 years of boring old ballet. Ballet was so slow and tedious: pointing toes, bending, and stretching arms. These moves hardly prepare one for step aerobics, kickboxing or zumba. I'm so uncoordinated and awkward looking, it's sad. My air-jack (a jumping jack where you're supposed to leap into the air) gets about 6 inches off the ground. My grapevine has quite literally made me twist MY KNEE (WTF?!?!?). My step-ball change includes about 3 more steps than anyone else in the room. I've been doing cardio classes for about 4-5 years now, off and on, and I still have no idea what i'm doing. I think having even a small amount of dance training prepares your body (and brain) to move quickly.
Zumba is what was previous known as 'latin moves' or salsa. My hips (though of considerable girth) do not move as fluidly as the 45 year old size 0 instructor. i left mid-class last night because (a) didn't want to miss project runway and (b)i was stomping around in place so long i realized i wasn't really working out. just staring at the instructor and trying to coordinate my legs and arms.
so, from now on...all children under the age of 10 should be exposed to at least 2 years of dance: preferrably tap/jazz/hiphop. Ballet is about as dull as a box of rocks and not nearly as fun. 3rd position, my arse!
The only "skills" our high school cheerleaders had involved doing that jump in the air with one leg in front, the other cocked back in some hook, or something, and screaming "go cats" every 3 seconds. HOWEVER, I'm pretty sure even THEY were trained in the art of the 'step-ball-change', 'grapevine, and the ever-elusive 'air-jack'.
How I wish I'd been enrolled in a dance class where I might have learned these things instead of 5 years of boring old ballet. Ballet was so slow and tedious: pointing toes, bending, and stretching arms. These moves hardly prepare one for step aerobics, kickboxing or zumba. I'm so uncoordinated and awkward looking, it's sad. My air-jack (a jumping jack where you're supposed to leap into the air) gets about 6 inches off the ground. My grapevine has quite literally made me twist MY KNEE (WTF?!?!?). My step-ball change includes about 3 more steps than anyone else in the room. I've been doing cardio classes for about 4-5 years now, off and on, and I still have no idea what i'm doing. I think having even a small amount of dance training prepares your body (and brain) to move quickly.
Zumba is what was previous known as 'latin moves' or salsa. My hips (though of considerable girth) do not move as fluidly as the 45 year old size 0 instructor. i left mid-class last night because (a) didn't want to miss project runway and (b)i was stomping around in place so long i realized i wasn't really working out. just staring at the instructor and trying to coordinate my legs and arms.
so, from now on...all children under the age of 10 should be exposed to at least 2 years of dance: preferrably tap/jazz/hiphop. Ballet is about as dull as a box of rocks and not nearly as fun. 3rd position, my arse!
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
it's time for mesico, people!
the countdown has begun. only 3.5 days until we leave for a week in playa del carmen. i have yet to:
1) lose 30 pounds
2) get more tan than a sheet of notebook paper (them blue lines are like my lovely spider veins--hot!)
3) wax my 'stache and brows (FORGET ABOUT ANYWHERES ELSE, sheesh!)
4) reserve a rental car
5) check the weather for the week we're there
6) begin taking black walnut tincture to prevent beach-ceviche-gastrointestinal-apocalypse version 2.0
7) return my overdue library book and secure beach-read
8) sync my ipod with fun new podcasts
9) try on swimsuits to ensure any of them fit--not likely
10) convince my husband not to take the computer and be tempted to work while on the beach. though, i plan on nursing a beer buzz 24/7, so what do i care?!
ok. lots to do and i'm here at work! craziness.
1) lose 30 pounds
2) get more tan than a sheet of notebook paper (them blue lines are like my lovely spider veins--hot!)
3) wax my 'stache and brows (FORGET ABOUT ANYWHERES ELSE, sheesh!)
4) reserve a rental car
5) check the weather for the week we're there
6) begin taking black walnut tincture to prevent beach-ceviche-gastrointestinal-apocalypse version 2.0
7) return my overdue library book and secure beach-read
8) sync my ipod with fun new podcasts
9) try on swimsuits to ensure any of them fit--not likely
10) convince my husband not to take the computer and be tempted to work while on the beach. though, i plan on nursing a beer buzz 24/7, so what do i care?!
ok. lots to do and i'm here at work! craziness.
Friday, September 19, 2008
stuff and more stuff
I loved the movie Amelie. I liked how they had the voiceover dude explain what Amelie liked and what she didn't. My favorite was how she liked dunking her hand into the barrel of lentils. Here's my little list of things i like and things that make me want to claw my ears and eyes out.
I love:
-flavored coffee. More often than not, a variation of vanilla nut. Mmm. Chemical coffee.
-the furminator. it's like a science experiment. exactly how much brushing before there's no kitty left? no matter how much we brush, there's always another wad of hair!
-leather car interiors. smell so GOOD!
-the feeling of my nails on my lips. sounds erotic. it's not. believe me.
-when my nails extend at least 2 millimeters above my finger tips (see previous)
-food, especially baked goods
-catching a whiff of my clean hair.
-a full tank of gas and no traffic.
-falling asleep with the tv on.
-clean sheets and a buzz.
I HATE:
-toenails scratching me: my own, my cat's or my husband's. CLIPPERS, people. check em out!
-the sound and feeling of pushing a shopping cart over asphalt. It reminds me of when I was a kid rollerskating on the street. I hated it then and I hate it now.
-quiet. i need noise and distraction. can never be left with my own thoughts and feelings. could be darker and uglier than i'm willing to explore.
-smelling other people. walking into someone else's cloud of funk makes me wanna hurl.
-driving. i'm over it. i've been doing it 20 years and i've had enough. sadly the previous point makes me reluctant to explore public mass transit.
-close games. they're supposed to be "good", but i prefer a blowout every time. 72-0? i can drink my beer in peace without tearing up my cuticles to bits.
fun!
I love:
-flavored coffee. More often than not, a variation of vanilla nut. Mmm. Chemical coffee.
-the furminator. it's like a science experiment. exactly how much brushing before there's no kitty left? no matter how much we brush, there's always another wad of hair!
-leather car interiors. smell so GOOD!
-the feeling of my nails on my lips. sounds erotic. it's not. believe me.
-when my nails extend at least 2 millimeters above my finger tips (see previous)
-food, especially baked goods
-catching a whiff of my clean hair.
-a full tank of gas and no traffic.
-falling asleep with the tv on.
-clean sheets and a buzz.
I HATE:
-toenails scratching me: my own, my cat's or my husband's. CLIPPERS, people. check em out!
-the sound and feeling of pushing a shopping cart over asphalt. It reminds me of when I was a kid rollerskating on the street. I hated it then and I hate it now.
-quiet. i need noise and distraction. can never be left with my own thoughts and feelings. could be darker and uglier than i'm willing to explore.
-smelling other people. walking into someone else's cloud of funk makes me wanna hurl.
-driving. i'm over it. i've been doing it 20 years and i've had enough. sadly the previous point makes me reluctant to explore public mass transit.
-close games. they're supposed to be "good", but i prefer a blowout every time. 72-0? i can drink my beer in peace without tearing up my cuticles to bits.
fun!
Friday, August 29, 2008
deeeelightful.
I’d just like to clarify something ickily female: “spotting” isn’t cute. It’s nothing like a Dalmatian, or a polka-dotted skirt, or even raindrops on a windshield. It’s more like a “smear”. Like something on your shoe after walking through a dog park, or what you wipe off a toddler’s nose. In other words, it ain’t fun or funny. Ugh.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
books of note...summer 2008!
I thought I'd share a list of books I've read (or started reading) this summer. I've been on a bit of a tear (being laid up and all...).
I started the summer reading both a book club book (Last Empress)
and American classic, Native Son. HOLY CRAP! 
Native Son is H-E-A-V-Y!!! Really remarkable given when it was published (1940). It gives such a powerful vision of what it was like to be a black man in America at that time. Looking at Barack Obama and where he is poised to be in the fall, it speaks volumes on how far we've come as a society. But dang, this book was ROUGH! I'd like to read the Cliff Notes on it to see what all I missed (i'm real dumb and don't comprehend a lot of stuff). :)
Madeleine is Sleeping (bookclub book).
What a nutty, delightful, dreamy book! Follows Madeleine (from the children's books) as she sleeps (snow white-style) and dreams about all kinds of wacky, sexy, grisly things. Really fun read. Also, the book cover photo (taken by Alice in Wonderland author, Lewis Carroll) is just gorgeous. Easy, lovely, reading.
Housekeeping.
I honestly don't remember this one at all. All I know is, that I missed bookclub by a WEEK! It was during my convalescence, so naturally, I was a little confused. I sent an email to the entire bookgroup telling how I'd be there with bells on and included some pathetically witty remark about how my potluck offering would match up with the book's theme....on the DAY AFTER THE MEETING!! sheesh! what a dork.
OH! Ok, after looking it up on Amazon, I remember now. It was about a couple of orphan girls whose nutty lost-long aunt comes to take care of them... and basically clutters up the joint and their lives.
After that I had to look at my bookshelf for things I hadn't already read (not able to leave the bed/house it was slim pickins around here!). I finally dusted off the copy of "In the Time of the Butterflies" by Julia Alvarez that my brother had given me a few xmases ago...in SPANISH!
I had been meaning to read it but wasn't looking forward to the mental gymnastics required. I think I understood about 90% of it. There are a HELL of a lot of words I don't know! In fact, I learned how to say 'cleavage' in spanish...but have since forgotten it (not having many opportunities to use such a description).
Once I'd finished that, it was close to my bday, so I was flush with bday money! I bought "Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom" by Oprah's va-jay-jay doctor from Amazon because I saw about 10 minutes of her talking about how a woman in the audience suffering from cripplingly painful fibroids was actually creating her own condition by not nurturing her creativity...and because she was with a dead-beat boyfriend. This crazy s%$# is for ME, i thought.
Once it arrived, I flipped right to the ovarian cyst section and read that I TOO had caused my condition by neglecting my creative center! Huh! I guess she forgot that I had actually created something quite fanciful and macabre...my buttery hairball creatures....all in the recesses of my cooter! Take THAT Doctor! Before I could summon the woo-woo mindset necessary to read the book, my brother saved me once again.
For my bday he and his lady sent me a signed copy of "When You Are Engulfed in Flames" by David Sedaris.
Surely, not as funny as "Me Talk Pretty One Day", easily one of the better things I've read in a while. In this book, David and his partner move to Japan for a few months so he (david) can quit smoking. I especially liked the description of the cooky songs played at the grocery store: "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow", "Rock-a-bye Baby", "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious", "The Bear Went Over the Mountain" and "Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, it's home from work we go". This delights me to no end. My only similar experience was hearing the "Only Coca-Cola" tune and the "Eyes of Texas" at a
Vietnamese restaurant here in Pdx. Nutty!
Once I was mobile, I picked up the next bookclub book, "The Laments" about a family whose baby is switched (with their permission) and their travels around the world.
A good, lighter than you might think book. Nothing to go nuts over, but it's entertaining and bittersweet.
Because it was so dang easy to read, I returned it to the library and bought another book that I might recommend we read for bookclub 08-09: "The Dogs of Babel".
It's about a grieving widower who tries to teach his dog to talk to find out why his wife killed herself. A bit of a downer, but entertaining and quick to read as well. I was up the other night until 3 finishing it. It was one of those 24-hour reads.
Now, I'm killing time until we select new bookclub books next week. I'll probably end up reading "Start Strong, Finish Strong" (SIGNED copy!!) by the Coopers of the Cooper Clinic in Dallas (xmas present from mom-in-law).
It's all about "prescriptions for a lifetime of great health".
Or else I'll go back to the infant/toddler development textbook my previous boss at work recommended I read,
or the Reggio Emilia educational philosophy book my current boss lent me to read...last year.
I kinda feel obligated to finish and return it before one of us retires!
Any suggestions on things to read??? That DON'T involve exercise or educational/developmental philosophy?!?!
I started the summer reading both a book club book (Last Empress)
and American classic, Native Son. HOLY CRAP! 
Native Son is H-E-A-V-Y!!! Really remarkable given when it was published (1940). It gives such a powerful vision of what it was like to be a black man in America at that time. Looking at Barack Obama and where he is poised to be in the fall, it speaks volumes on how far we've come as a society. But dang, this book was ROUGH! I'd like to read the Cliff Notes on it to see what all I missed (i'm real dumb and don't comprehend a lot of stuff). :)Madeleine is Sleeping (bookclub book).
What a nutty, delightful, dreamy book! Follows Madeleine (from the children's books) as she sleeps (snow white-style) and dreams about all kinds of wacky, sexy, grisly things. Really fun read. Also, the book cover photo (taken by Alice in Wonderland author, Lewis Carroll) is just gorgeous. Easy, lovely, reading. Housekeeping.
I honestly don't remember this one at all. All I know is, that I missed bookclub by a WEEK! It was during my convalescence, so naturally, I was a little confused. I sent an email to the entire bookgroup telling how I'd be there with bells on and included some pathetically witty remark about how my potluck offering would match up with the book's theme....on the DAY AFTER THE MEETING!! sheesh! what a dork.OH! Ok, after looking it up on Amazon, I remember now. It was about a couple of orphan girls whose nutty lost-long aunt comes to take care of them... and basically clutters up the joint and their lives.
After that I had to look at my bookshelf for things I hadn't already read (not able to leave the bed/house it was slim pickins around here!). I finally dusted off the copy of "In the Time of the Butterflies" by Julia Alvarez that my brother had given me a few xmases ago...in SPANISH!
I had been meaning to read it but wasn't looking forward to the mental gymnastics required. I think I understood about 90% of it. There are a HELL of a lot of words I don't know! In fact, I learned how to say 'cleavage' in spanish...but have since forgotten it (not having many opportunities to use such a description). Once I'd finished that, it was close to my bday, so I was flush with bday money! I bought "Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom" by Oprah's va-jay-jay doctor from Amazon because I saw about 10 minutes of her talking about how a woman in the audience suffering from cripplingly painful fibroids was actually creating her own condition by not nurturing her creativity...and because she was with a dead-beat boyfriend. This crazy s%$# is for ME, i thought.
Once it arrived, I flipped right to the ovarian cyst section and read that I TOO had caused my condition by neglecting my creative center! Huh! I guess she forgot that I had actually created something quite fanciful and macabre...my buttery hairball creatures....all in the recesses of my cooter! Take THAT Doctor! Before I could summon the woo-woo mindset necessary to read the book, my brother saved me once again.
For my bday he and his lady sent me a signed copy of "When You Are Engulfed in Flames" by David Sedaris.
Surely, not as funny as "Me Talk Pretty One Day", easily one of the better things I've read in a while. In this book, David and his partner move to Japan for a few months so he (david) can quit smoking. I especially liked the description of the cooky songs played at the grocery store: "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow", "Rock-a-bye Baby", "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious", "The Bear Went Over the Mountain" and "Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, it's home from work we go". This delights me to no end. My only similar experience was hearing the "Only Coca-Cola" tune and the "Eyes of Texas" at a Vietnamese restaurant here in Pdx. Nutty!
Once I was mobile, I picked up the next bookclub book, "The Laments" about a family whose baby is switched (with their permission) and their travels around the world.
A good, lighter than you might think book. Nothing to go nuts over, but it's entertaining and bittersweet.Because it was so dang easy to read, I returned it to the library and bought another book that I might recommend we read for bookclub 08-09: "The Dogs of Babel".
It's about a grieving widower who tries to teach his dog to talk to find out why his wife killed herself. A bit of a downer, but entertaining and quick to read as well. I was up the other night until 3 finishing it. It was one of those 24-hour reads. Now, I'm killing time until we select new bookclub books next week. I'll probably end up reading "Start Strong, Finish Strong" (SIGNED copy!!) by the Coopers of the Cooper Clinic in Dallas (xmas present from mom-in-law).
It's all about "prescriptions for a lifetime of great health". Or else I'll go back to the infant/toddler development textbook my previous boss at work recommended I read,
or the Reggio Emilia educational philosophy book my current boss lent me to read...last year.
I kinda feel obligated to finish and return it before one of us retires!Any suggestions on things to read??? That DON'T involve exercise or educational/developmental philosophy?!?!
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Feeling good. DAMN good!
Oy. After a couple of weeks spent laid up in bed with television and ‘hillbilly heroin’, then another couple of ‘light duty’ if I were in the manual labor workforce, I think I’m almost feeling normal. The unfortunate thing is that I can now move almost as clumsily and awkwardly as before my belly came into contact with what I can only imagine was a 12 inch O.J.-style “hunting” knife. One positive: when I look at myself naked (which I avoid as much as possible) I’ve discovered that my torso looks like a giant, lumpy, contemptuous face. Baggy “eyes” (my rockin’ 34Ds), red and puffy “nose” (my still-healing laparoscopicly-invaded belly button) and an indignant pink smirk (my 5 inch incision). I’m loovly.
The thing about healing is, I can now do more than sit around and moan. After my surgery, I was able to sit and bark out orders. Too much in pain to make the salmon, I used all my teaching skills to lead my husband through the fine art of oiling the cedar plank, heating the oven and squeezing lime over the top. My secret is out. What looks (to him) like a complicated culinary ordeal is easier than Kraft mac n’ cheese. (mmmm craving mac n’ cheese)
Tragically, I think I’m also able to scoop the cat litter, too. I’ve gone 4 weeks avoiding it because I told James it wasn’t “sanitary” for my wound to be near poop….because I hold the litter scoop with my cooter?!?! Thankfully he hasn’t questioned that.
Ok. Off to put on my housedress from Walmart (less than $10 if you can believe such a bargain!), pour my red wine (it’s like, medicine, y’all!) and get tipsy enough to scoop poop before watching the finale (so soon?!?!) of “So You Think You Can Dance”. My faves are not in the finale, so I’ll probably have a 2nd glass of “medicine” (I’m HEALTHY, y’all!) to make me care.
Here are my favorites from SYTYCD doing a hip-hop routine that almost made me cry (check out the face on the girl!)! I LURVE YOU CHELSIE AND MARK!!!!! (it's a long clip, skip the interview part and the judges at the end!)
The thing about healing is, I can now do more than sit around and moan. After my surgery, I was able to sit and bark out orders. Too much in pain to make the salmon, I used all my teaching skills to lead my husband through the fine art of oiling the cedar plank, heating the oven and squeezing lime over the top. My secret is out. What looks (to him) like a complicated culinary ordeal is easier than Kraft mac n’ cheese. (mmmm craving mac n’ cheese)
Tragically, I think I’m also able to scoop the cat litter, too. I’ve gone 4 weeks avoiding it because I told James it wasn’t “sanitary” for my wound to be near poop….because I hold the litter scoop with my cooter?!?! Thankfully he hasn’t questioned that.
Ok. Off to put on my housedress from Walmart (less than $10 if you can believe such a bargain!), pour my red wine (it’s like, medicine, y’all!) and get tipsy enough to scoop poop before watching the finale (so soon?!?!) of “So You Think You Can Dance”. My faves are not in the finale, so I’ll probably have a 2nd glass of “medicine” (I’m HEALTHY, y’all!) to make me care.
Here are my favorites from SYTYCD doing a hip-hop routine that almost made me cry (check out the face on the girl!)! I LURVE YOU CHELSIE AND MARK!!!!! (it's a long clip, skip the interview part and the judges at the end!)
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
My mosaic! Thanks, Sara!
I copied Sara and did my very own mosaic
Here are the questions and my answers:
1. my name: clarissa (LOVE this picture!!)
2. favorite food: spaghetti
3. high school: GP (gregory portland didn't come up with anything good)
4. favorite color: red
5. celebrity crush: clive owen
6. favorite drink: red wine (but i loved the picture of the beers!)
7. dream vacation: duh, maldives
8. favorite dessert: brownies (she had brownie *cameras* so i went for the snow white baby. cute!!)
9. when i grow up i wanna be: happy
10: what i love more than anything: food (boy, it was hard finding something i liked on this guy's deal!)
11. word that best describes me: still (more positive sounding than "inert")
12. my flickr name: clarissamtz didn't come up with anything, duh, so i used garcia espana--love the shoe store picture!
Here are the questions and my answers:
1. my name: clarissa (LOVE this picture!!)
2. favorite food: spaghetti
3. high school: GP (gregory portland didn't come up with anything good)
4. favorite color: red
5. celebrity crush: clive owen
6. favorite drink: red wine (but i loved the picture of the beers!)
7. dream vacation: duh, maldives
8. favorite dessert: brownies (she had brownie *cameras* so i went for the snow white baby. cute!!)
9. when i grow up i wanna be: happy
10: what i love more than anything: food (boy, it was hard finding something i liked on this guy's deal!)
11. word that best describes me: still (more positive sounding than "inert")
12. my flickr name: clarissamtz didn't come up with anything, duh, so i used garcia espana--love the shoe store picture!
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
hoo ray for the golden arches!
One of the many things I miss about Texas is the food. The barbeque, the Mexican food, the kolaches, Whataburger, and all the little places here and there that make your heart sing...as it fills with grease.
Thankfully, I've been able to recreate a lot of what I miss, or at least find reasonable approximations.
No, there's no Whataburger, but those Burgerville shakes sure do help make up for that.
No, there's no more Shiner Bock.....ok, there's just no substitution, but I'll accept a Negra Modelo.
No, the Mexican food places here don't measure up to my mom's cooking (on a BAD day!), but she's now taught me how to recreate such essentials as carne guisada, menudo, and on her recent visit, tamales, chiles rellenos and pan de polvo.
Thanks to my dad and brother, I think I can now even prepare my own barbeque brisket...though Mac's Fine Pit in Gregory Tx is true nirvana.
We even haven Schlotzsky's and Sonic here now, for crying out loud! Yippee!!
One of the lone staples that I couldn't quite recapture was Chik-fil-A. There had been one at the mall when we first moved to town, but it went away. I thought I'd never see another fried chicken sandwich on a fluffy bun with only a couple of oddly sweet pickles to keep it company until TODAY! On a whim (when all great genius takes place) I thought I'd have a Happy Meal at McDonald's for lunch. I usually only do this when I travel and can't bear to sit by myself in a restaurant with a book--sad. Today, however, I had an intimate doctor visit (ewwwwww!) and felt I needed something Happy. Just as I was about to order my usual HM, the dude on the intercom asked if I was interested in trying the new "Southern Style Chicken Sandwich". I immediately answered no, I knew what I wanted! THEN, it hit me. That could be like a Chik-fil-A!! I changed my mind and ordered one. I was grossed out by its fried smell in the car, made worse when I passed a truck hauling a metric ton of live, adorable, chilly, wind-blown chickens. What had I done?!?!
When I got back to my office, I took one bite and was transported back to my college days working at Montgomery Ward, having a quick lunch at the CFA next door. No, it's not exactly like CFA...it's actually BETTER!!! The bun is fluffier and the chicken is meatier! SO delicious. No, you can't get a side of waffle fries or weird sweet/watery coleslaw, but you CAN get this sandwich on SUNDAYS. Something CFA doesn't do.
So, for the time being (i'm sure this sandwich is for a limited time only) I'm a happy Texan living in the land of fleece, subarus and organic/local-only food. Thank you, McDonalds!
(btw, last month i seriously checked out CFA's website and clicked on the link to become a franchise owner. i'm hardcore.)
Thankfully, I've been able to recreate a lot of what I miss, or at least find reasonable approximations.
No, there's no Whataburger, but those Burgerville shakes sure do help make up for that.
No, there's no more Shiner Bock.....ok, there's just no substitution, but I'll accept a Negra Modelo.
No, the Mexican food places here don't measure up to my mom's cooking (on a BAD day!), but she's now taught me how to recreate such essentials as carne guisada, menudo, and on her recent visit, tamales, chiles rellenos and pan de polvo.
Thanks to my dad and brother, I think I can now even prepare my own barbeque brisket...though Mac's Fine Pit in Gregory Tx is true nirvana.
We even haven Schlotzsky's and Sonic here now, for crying out loud! Yippee!!
One of the lone staples that I couldn't quite recapture was Chik-fil-A. There had been one at the mall when we first moved to town, but it went away. I thought I'd never see another fried chicken sandwich on a fluffy bun with only a couple of oddly sweet pickles to keep it company until TODAY! On a whim (when all great genius takes place) I thought I'd have a Happy Meal at McDonald's for lunch. I usually only do this when I travel and can't bear to sit by myself in a restaurant with a book--sad. Today, however, I had an intimate doctor visit (ewwwwww!) and felt I needed something Happy. Just as I was about to order my usual HM, the dude on the intercom asked if I was interested in trying the new "Southern Style Chicken Sandwich". I immediately answered no, I knew what I wanted! THEN, it hit me. That could be like a Chik-fil-A!! I changed my mind and ordered one. I was grossed out by its fried smell in the car, made worse when I passed a truck hauling a metric ton of live, adorable, chilly, wind-blown chickens. What had I done?!?!
When I got back to my office, I took one bite and was transported back to my college days working at Montgomery Ward, having a quick lunch at the CFA next door. No, it's not exactly like CFA...it's actually BETTER!!! The bun is fluffier and the chicken is meatier! SO delicious. No, you can't get a side of waffle fries or weird sweet/watery coleslaw, but you CAN get this sandwich on SUNDAYS. Something CFA doesn't do.
So, for the time being (i'm sure this sandwich is for a limited time only) I'm a happy Texan living in the land of fleece, subarus and organic/local-only food. Thank you, McDonalds!
(btw, last month i seriously checked out CFA's website and clicked on the link to become a franchise owner. i'm hardcore.)
Monday, June 2, 2008
global warming...what a pain in my arse!
I can only blame this crap on global warming. seriously. I'm through. finished. ready to rip out my hair at the roots.
i went to a dr. appointment this morning before work. i had on some normal pants, a long-sleeved tshirt and sandals (MUST post about those later). One would think that on JUNE 2 (!!) that would be a reasonable outfit to wear to work. Well, hells to tha NO!
I actually had to run home after my appointment and change into a TURTLENECK AND DANSKOS!!! It must have been in the high 40s and drizzly (of course). SO ANNOYING! not that i'm in any hurry to show my big fat white body or anything, i'm just sick to #$%@ of cold and rain.
had to vent. where's the dad-burn SUN already?!?!?!
i went to a dr. appointment this morning before work. i had on some normal pants, a long-sleeved tshirt and sandals (MUST post about those later). One would think that on JUNE 2 (!!) that would be a reasonable outfit to wear to work. Well, hells to tha NO!
I actually had to run home after my appointment and change into a TURTLENECK AND DANSKOS!!! It must have been in the high 40s and drizzly (of course). SO ANNOYING! not that i'm in any hurry to show my big fat white body or anything, i'm just sick to #$%@ of cold and rain.
had to vent. where's the dad-burn SUN already?!?!?!
Friday, May 9, 2008
Idol worship
Oh jeez. This week was really rough.
Jason Castro, my favorite now that Michael Johns was gone, decided to sing 2 of the most horrendous songs EVER and went home. Shoot, I was ready to help him pack after hearing he'd chosen BOB FRACKIN MARLEY as his first song. WTF?!?!? There are 2 music genres I really hate--reggae and jazz. There are another few I really dislike--folk, Jimmy Buffet, James Taylor and classic rock.
ANYWAY, Jason Castro was really workin my nerve singing that "I shot the sherrif" B.S. I mean really! How much did he want to allienate the little girls that think he's cute? A song about shooting a law officer? Scary! Not only that, anyone who hears the song gets an instant contact high. I'm sorry but it was just too obvious: the dreadlocked hippie singing Bob Marley? I can smell the patchouli from here!
THEN, he follows that up with a BOB DYLAN tune???? One that he can't even remember all the words for?? BORING! Yuck! No wonder the little girls are letting Archuleta slide into the finals. He sings about love and flowers and looks longingly into the camera. Mumbling about "Mr. Tambourine Man" doesn't cut it with the tweens, my friend. Back to Texas with ye. He was doing so well for a while there!!! So sad.
I really don't care who wins anymore. I suspect it will be the "rocker" with a gut--David Cook, but I don't care.
Jason Castro, my favorite now that Michael Johns was gone, decided to sing 2 of the most horrendous songs EVER and went home. Shoot, I was ready to help him pack after hearing he'd chosen BOB FRACKIN MARLEY as his first song. WTF?!?!? There are 2 music genres I really hate--reggae and jazz. There are another few I really dislike--folk, Jimmy Buffet, James Taylor and classic rock.
ANYWAY, Jason Castro was really workin my nerve singing that "I shot the sherrif" B.S. I mean really! How much did he want to allienate the little girls that think he's cute? A song about shooting a law officer? Scary! Not only that, anyone who hears the song gets an instant contact high. I'm sorry but it was just too obvious: the dreadlocked hippie singing Bob Marley? I can smell the patchouli from here!
THEN, he follows that up with a BOB DYLAN tune???? One that he can't even remember all the words for?? BORING! Yuck! No wonder the little girls are letting Archuleta slide into the finals. He sings about love and flowers and looks longingly into the camera. Mumbling about "Mr. Tambourine Man" doesn't cut it with the tweens, my friend. Back to Texas with ye. He was doing so well for a while there!!! So sad.
I really don't care who wins anymore. I suspect it will be the "rocker" with a gut--David Cook, but I don't care.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
mah melons!!
Holy crap!!
I went to Nordstrom today to use up a gift card on a few new brassieres (a couple of my old raggedy ones are now pokin and itchin me). I figured I'd go for a proper bra fitting. Sounds like a fun Saturday afternoon, right?! :)
Well, I followed the girl into the dressing room and she had me take off my top and take a look at my tatas in their current state--a lacy thing that i thought was far less embarrassing than the other dingy ones lurking in my lingerie drawer. She took one look and said, "well, that's too small". She measured my torso and told me I was a..............
(wait for it).....................
.............34 D!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WTF?!?!?! Never in my life have I ever been able to appropriately fill in a B cup!!! In fact, I was wearing a 36 A!!!!!! I was convinced she was kidding with me, but she poked around and pointed out all the side boob-fat that was hangin out the sides and reminded me that when I took off my shirt my bra nearly popped up and off. Hmm. I was still unconvinced until she went off and found me a few 34 Ds (still can't type that without shaking my head in disbelief) to try on.
OMG!! They FIT!! She adjusted the straps and had me lean over to jiggle my gals into place (I'd NEVER done that before) then stood up and looked in the mirror. NOT A GAP IN THE CUP ANYWHERE!!!! I was stunned. I was feelin all busty and gorgeous, so I went and bought 3 new pairs plus a few new Hanky Panties (OUCH!! Thank goodness for the stimulus check coming my way!). I have to admit, my boobs do look way better in my fancy new bra (she threw my old one away and let me wear my new one out), but I still can't believe I'm wearing a D cup!! However, one important point, I still ain't got no cleavage. What a rip-off!
Well, I was walkin around the Nordstrom feelin all Pam Anderson and whatnot, so I called a friend to brag about my "new" boobs. She just laughed and said, "oh, now THAT'S a good weight-gain story". SNAP!! She's totally right! I didn't gain 2-3 cup sizes in awesome boob (otherwise i'd have cleavage), I gained 2-3 cup sizes in FAT. Just like everywhere else on my rapidly aging body! UGH!!
Oh well, I'll take it. I can't lose weight now, I'll lose all this side-boob that's plumping up my bra!
yippee for back/side fat!!
I went to Nordstrom today to use up a gift card on a few new brassieres (a couple of my old raggedy ones are now pokin and itchin me). I figured I'd go for a proper bra fitting. Sounds like a fun Saturday afternoon, right?! :)
Well, I followed the girl into the dressing room and she had me take off my top and take a look at my tatas in their current state--a lacy thing that i thought was far less embarrassing than the other dingy ones lurking in my lingerie drawer. She took one look and said, "well, that's too small". She measured my torso and told me I was a..............
(wait for it).....................
.............34 D!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WTF?!?!?! Never in my life have I ever been able to appropriately fill in a B cup!!! In fact, I was wearing a 36 A!!!!!! I was convinced she was kidding with me, but she poked around and pointed out all the side boob-fat that was hangin out the sides and reminded me that when I took off my shirt my bra nearly popped up and off. Hmm. I was still unconvinced until she went off and found me a few 34 Ds (still can't type that without shaking my head in disbelief) to try on.
OMG!! They FIT!! She adjusted the straps and had me lean over to jiggle my gals into place (I'd NEVER done that before) then stood up and looked in the mirror. NOT A GAP IN THE CUP ANYWHERE!!!! I was stunned. I was feelin all busty and gorgeous, so I went and bought 3 new pairs plus a few new Hanky Panties (OUCH!! Thank goodness for the stimulus check coming my way!). I have to admit, my boobs do look way better in my fancy new bra (she threw my old one away and let me wear my new one out), but I still can't believe I'm wearing a D cup!! However, one important point, I still ain't got no cleavage. What a rip-off!
Well, I was walkin around the Nordstrom feelin all Pam Anderson and whatnot, so I called a friend to brag about my "new" boobs. She just laughed and said, "oh, now THAT'S a good weight-gain story". SNAP!! She's totally right! I didn't gain 2-3 cup sizes in awesome boob (otherwise i'd have cleavage), I gained 2-3 cup sizes in FAT. Just like everywhere else on my rapidly aging body! UGH!!
Oh well, I'll take it. I can't lose weight now, I'll lose all this side-boob that's plumping up my bra!
yippee for back/side fat!!
Friday, April 25, 2008
lady singer...a good one!
I almost always have my ipod on shuffle to be surprised by what comes up. one song that doesn't come up nearly enough is "hey mister" by suzanna choffel. she's a songwriter from somewhere in the midwest or something, but now lives in austin. she's a buddy of my brother's and played at the barn-b-que he and his friends put on a couple of years ago. since then, this little tune has been getting quite a bit of airplay in austin.
she was up in portland last year and i bought her album "shudders & rings" at the show.
this is a rough recording, but it's worth a watch/listen. it's one of those songs that you know you could have related to in your early 20s--all that time wasted with beautiful boys who flew in and our of your life...AND this video also makes me miss live music in austin.
she was up in portland last year and i bought her album "shudders & rings" at the show.
this is a rough recording, but it's worth a watch/listen. it's one of those songs that you know you could have related to in your early 20s--all that time wasted with beautiful boys who flew in and our of your life...AND this video also makes me miss live music in austin.
Friday, April 11, 2008
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!
My favorite "Idol" to watch (Michael Johns)is gone!!!!! Holy crap!!!
What will I do now?!?!?!?!!?
such a sad, sad day.
I'm all about jason castro now. i guess he's ok to look at, but i just imagine those smelly dreads and it's all i can think about. thank goodness he has the voice of an angel. if only he can not be completely baked when they talk to him. there are times i'm sure he's got a bong hidden backstage. keep it together, guy!
btw, just to clarify--i don't care for the musical stylings of david archuleta. i actually don't understand his song choices. i just love saying the name "david archuleta". maybe i'll name my next cat david archuleta cuz it's so fun to say.
IGNORE ALL COMMENTS THAT SAY "TRY HERE" OR SOMETHING!! SCARY!
What will I do now?!?!?!?!!?
such a sad, sad day.
I'm all about jason castro now. i guess he's ok to look at, but i just imagine those smelly dreads and it's all i can think about. thank goodness he has the voice of an angel. if only he can not be completely baked when they talk to him. there are times i'm sure he's got a bong hidden backstage. keep it together, guy!
btw, just to clarify--i don't care for the musical stylings of david archuleta. i actually don't understand his song choices. i just love saying the name "david archuleta". maybe i'll name my next cat david archuleta cuz it's so fun to say.
IGNORE ALL COMMENTS THAT SAY "TRY HERE" OR SOMETHING!! SCARY!
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
american idol...faves
just really quickly here are my favorites...
my favorite to SAY is David Archuleta. I even woke up one morning saying his name. How fun is it to say DAVID ARCHULETA?!?!?
my favorite to HEAR is Jason Castro. He has the most perfect song choices! So beautiful.
my favorite to WATCH is Michael Johns. He has that charisma that gets my motor running. yum.
the gals? all but the country girl from oregon are fine. i don't care.
my favorite to SAY is David Archuleta. I even woke up one morning saying his name. How fun is it to say DAVID ARCHULETA?!?!?
my favorite to HEAR is Jason Castro. He has the most perfect song choices! So beautiful.
my favorite to WATCH is Michael Johns. He has that charisma that gets my motor running. yum.
the gals? all but the country girl from oregon are fine. i don't care.
Friday, March 28, 2008
HOT!!
So, finally to catch up on my previous post about the alligator shirt saga....
Monday (as promised) I went down to Sak's to see their selection of Lacoste shirts. Holy crap. There were tons. I grabbed a stack of blue shirts because they were calling my name. I didn't want pink (too preppy) or yellow (i look ill in yellow) or green (too University of Oregon), so I figured a pretty blue would be nice.
I tried them all on and wouldn't you know it? I actually liked the red one better!
Until I saw the black. SO TYPICAL for me!! I TRIED to get out of my comfort zone and was sucked back into black! (no picture yet)
Then I went nuts and bought a long-sleeve stiped shirt (pink and light grey)!!!
There goes my spending money for a couple of months.
Phew. At least I can sleep at night now.
Monday (as promised) I went down to Sak's to see their selection of Lacoste shirts. Holy crap. There were tons. I grabbed a stack of blue shirts because they were calling my name. I didn't want pink (too preppy) or yellow (i look ill in yellow) or green (too University of Oregon), so I figured a pretty blue would be nice.
I tried them all on and wouldn't you know it? I actually liked the red one better!
Until I saw the black. SO TYPICAL for me!! I TRIED to get out of my comfort zone and was sucked back into black! (no picture yet)
Then I went nuts and bought a long-sleeve stiped shirt (pink and light grey)!!!
There goes my spending money for a couple of months.Phew. At least I can sleep at night now.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
happy easter!
It's a beautiful, cloudy, rainy, chilly spring day here in Portland. Yippee. I made chocolate chip pancakes, eggs, sausage and slept through mass.
I hope the rest of y'all are having a wonderful day and taking lots of pictures!
Check this out for some cuteness...http://www.cuteoverload.com/
I hope the rest of y'all are having a wonderful day and taking lots of pictures!
Check this out for some cuteness...http://www.cuteoverload.com/
adventures at the mall
as a childless woman in her mid 30s I have a lot of time on my hands. i've noticed that in the past couple of years i've gotten wild hairs about things and feel compelled to see them through. sadly these are not wild hairs about self-improvement or anything, mostly just crap i need to buy. for instance, after i watched 'the real housewives of new york city' i realized i desperately needed an Izod polo shirt! i also got the idea that i desperately needed a new set of grapefruit spoons (not because of the show, but because i had giant grapefruits in the fridge and no proper spoons to eat them--tragedy!)
i drove right over to the mall and spent over 2 hours searching for alligator shirts and grapefruit spoons! ridiculous!!
i started at macy's (they have a little of everything). i searched every department and came up empty. after about an hour there i realized nobody had greeted me, asked me if i needed help, or acknowledged my existence. now, as a former retail monkey i know that's poor customer service. at one point, i thought i'd do an experiment. i stood in the middle of racks, with my hands at my side staring straight ahead....about 2 feet away from a 'sales associate' who was putting away clothes. out of the corner of my eye i saw her browse through a rack of shirts, presumably find her size and go to the scanning thingy to see the sale price! she was doing her own shopping and couldn't be bothered to ask the strange woman staring like a zombie if there was anything she needed! finally i asked if they carried any izod tshirts. she said no, not in her section (sporty-spice dockers, liz claiborne, etc) and that i should look further up the store. i knew she was full of crap because no way were preppy tshirts going to be up in the section with the cooler stuff.
however, to test her knowledge and continue my experiment i went up to the front of the store (where the "cool" designer stuff is) and again i stood straight and touched/said nothing. again, i had to flag a woman down asking about the izod shirts. she pointed me to the back of the store (where i'd just come). AAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!
I went to Nordstrom thinking maybe Izod was a little more high-end than I expected. Of course the customer service was just as aloof. I didn't do my serial-killer stare experiment, though because i was just too tired. i saw they had the shirts i was looking for in the men's and boy's departments, but not in ladies. WTF?!?!?!?!?!?
Finally I went to Penney's...maybe Izod was even less high-end than I thought. Again, no greeting, but that was fine. I don't expect much from Penney's....until I saw the IZOD DEPARTMENT!!! Holla!!! Sadly, what I found was this:
(only a woman's version) when what I wanted was this:
AARRGGGGHHH!!! So, I went in search of the grapefruit spoons....which are available at any grocery store for a couple of bucks. That wouldn't fly with me, so I went looking for the Kitchen Kaboodle at the mall...which had moved....to the "extension" called "west village' or some crap. See, the mall has added an outdoor mall "experience" next to the mall to compete with the fancy Bridgeport Village (an outdoor concept mall south of town). I'm not sure where this is supposed to work. In a place with a climate that is lucky to have 3 months of dry weather and sunshine or a place with a climate that is lucky to have 3 months of under 100 degree temperatures?!?!? ANYHOO....
I hiked the 1/2 mile to the Kitchen Kaboodle in the bracing wind and found my grapefruit spoons..for $3 a piece. Not too bad! They're cool looking. On my trek to the spoons I stopped by Red Mango to see what it was. It said "now open, always healthy". intriguing. turns out it's a remarkable addictive frozen yogurt place. I had the original yogurt (tastes tangy like plain yogurt, but sweet) instead of the green tea and had mango and almonds mixed in. HOLY CRAP!!! SO tasty! I'm already craving it! That's all I freakin need...something ELSE i love to eat!
So, when I got home I went online to see where the heck i could find the alligator shirt (lacoste...apparently no longer associated with Izod?!) i've been craving all of 6 hours. Turns out, in Portland, the only place to find them is at SAKS FREAKING 5TH AVENUE....for $75!!!!! WTF??? I'm going on Monday to check them out and see if I still really need them. Can you imagine?!?!?! Back in the day, they were only $15. Man i'm getting old.
I'll post again monday night...perhaps with a photo of me in my new high-dollar shirt?!?! hopefully not because i will have come to my senses.... wish me luck!
i drove right over to the mall and spent over 2 hours searching for alligator shirts and grapefruit spoons! ridiculous!!
i started at macy's (they have a little of everything). i searched every department and came up empty. after about an hour there i realized nobody had greeted me, asked me if i needed help, or acknowledged my existence. now, as a former retail monkey i know that's poor customer service. at one point, i thought i'd do an experiment. i stood in the middle of racks, with my hands at my side staring straight ahead....about 2 feet away from a 'sales associate' who was putting away clothes. out of the corner of my eye i saw her browse through a rack of shirts, presumably find her size and go to the scanning thingy to see the sale price! she was doing her own shopping and couldn't be bothered to ask the strange woman staring like a zombie if there was anything she needed! finally i asked if they carried any izod tshirts. she said no, not in her section (sporty-spice dockers, liz claiborne, etc) and that i should look further up the store. i knew she was full of crap because no way were preppy tshirts going to be up in the section with the cooler stuff.
however, to test her knowledge and continue my experiment i went up to the front of the store (where the "cool" designer stuff is) and again i stood straight and touched/said nothing. again, i had to flag a woman down asking about the izod shirts. she pointed me to the back of the store (where i'd just come). AAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!
I went to Nordstrom thinking maybe Izod was a little more high-end than I expected. Of course the customer service was just as aloof. I didn't do my serial-killer stare experiment, though because i was just too tired. i saw they had the shirts i was looking for in the men's and boy's departments, but not in ladies. WTF?!?!?!?!?!?
Finally I went to Penney's...maybe Izod was even less high-end than I thought. Again, no greeting, but that was fine. I don't expect much from Penney's....until I saw the IZOD DEPARTMENT!!! Holla!!! Sadly, what I found was this:
(only a woman's version) when what I wanted was this:
AARRGGGGHHH!!! So, I went in search of the grapefruit spoons....which are available at any grocery store for a couple of bucks. That wouldn't fly with me, so I went looking for the Kitchen Kaboodle at the mall...which had moved....to the "extension" called "west village' or some crap. See, the mall has added an outdoor mall "experience" next to the mall to compete with the fancy Bridgeport Village (an outdoor concept mall south of town). I'm not sure where this is supposed to work. In a place with a climate that is lucky to have 3 months of dry weather and sunshine or a place with a climate that is lucky to have 3 months of under 100 degree temperatures?!?!? ANYHOO....
I hiked the 1/2 mile to the Kitchen Kaboodle in the bracing wind and found my grapefruit spoons..for $3 a piece. Not too bad! They're cool looking. On my trek to the spoons I stopped by Red Mango to see what it was. It said "now open, always healthy". intriguing. turns out it's a remarkable addictive frozen yogurt place. I had the original yogurt (tastes tangy like plain yogurt, but sweet) instead of the green tea and had mango and almonds mixed in. HOLY CRAP!!! SO tasty! I'm already craving it! That's all I freakin need...something ELSE i love to eat!
So, when I got home I went online to see where the heck i could find the alligator shirt (lacoste...apparently no longer associated with Izod?!) i've been craving all of 6 hours. Turns out, in Portland, the only place to find them is at SAKS FREAKING 5TH AVENUE....for $75!!!!! WTF??? I'm going on Monday to check them out and see if I still really need them. Can you imagine?!?!?! Back in the day, they were only $15. Man i'm getting old.
I'll post again monday night...perhaps with a photo of me in my new high-dollar shirt?!?! hopefully not because i will have come to my senses.... wish me luck!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Lepre-corn?!?!
So I go to the gym at least 3 days a week (usually 5, not that you can tell...i have lumps and rolls all over the place) and I really enjoy all the people-watching it affords me. Some is amusing, some is repulsive, and some is just....amazing.
I hate the over-use of the word "amazing". I blame the show Felicity. Everyone and everything on that show was described as "amazing". Puh-leeeeeze. ANYWHOO....
I realize I have absolutely no room to criticize any one's physical appearance however... I swear I saw a guy in one of my kickboxing classes that looked like a dad-burn leprechaun. Poor dear, he was super short (5 feet or less), really built (like Popeye after the spinach), very pale and bright red hair. Poor thing even had a beard! I swear, it was like looking at the Notre Dame mascot kicking and punching!!
I couldn't stop staring at him during the class. I wanted to know all about him. Where does he work? Does he have a romantic partner? Is he/she taller/shorter? Does he hate St. Patrick's Day? I didn't see a wedding ring, but I hope he as a partner that loves him just the way he is.
Don't even get me started on the people who in the past few weeks have gone from winter-pale to st. tropez-mahogany. i especially love the people who end up matching their skin to their hair. it's like an unbroken plane of brown with teeth and nostrils. nice. i'll keep looking for examples of this phenomenon online...
I hate the over-use of the word "amazing". I blame the show Felicity. Everyone and everything on that show was described as "amazing". Puh-leeeeeze. ANYWHOO....
I realize I have absolutely no room to criticize any one's physical appearance however... I swear I saw a guy in one of my kickboxing classes that looked like a dad-burn leprechaun. Poor dear, he was super short (5 feet or less), really built (like Popeye after the spinach), very pale and bright red hair. Poor thing even had a beard! I swear, it was like looking at the Notre Dame mascot kicking and punching!!
I couldn't stop staring at him during the class. I wanted to know all about him. Where does he work? Does he have a romantic partner? Is he/she taller/shorter? Does he hate St. Patrick's Day? I didn't see a wedding ring, but I hope he as a partner that loves him just the way he is.
Don't even get me started on the people who in the past few weeks have gone from winter-pale to st. tropez-mahogany. i especially love the people who end up matching their skin to their hair. it's like an unbroken plane of brown with teeth and nostrils. nice. i'll keep looking for examples of this phenomenon online...
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
FINALLY...a reason to blog!
So after months of pestering by my brother and his girlfriend Jennifer I finally saw the movie "Once". Now, it came and went from the theaters and had been in my Blockbuster.com list for some time and if finally arrived.
HOLY CRAP! What a great movie.
If you love (or like, or even can tolerate) music, this is great. So romantic and lovely and did I mention the music? It's only 86 minutes long so if you're one of those that falls asleep during movies, you might actually stay awake long enough to see it all the way through. Only recommendation I would make is to put on the captions. Charming Irish accents are charming and all that, but with indie-movie sound it's hard to make out what they're saying. LOVE me some captions.
Here's a clip of the Oscar-nominated song that runs through the movie.
Just beautiful. Enjoy....
Good lord. This movie made me have a crush on a REDHEAD for crying out loud!!
Sigh....
HOLY CRAP! What a great movie.
If you love (or like, or even can tolerate) music, this is great. So romantic and lovely and did I mention the music? It's only 86 minutes long so if you're one of those that falls asleep during movies, you might actually stay awake long enough to see it all the way through. Only recommendation I would make is to put on the captions. Charming Irish accents are charming and all that, but with indie-movie sound it's hard to make out what they're saying. LOVE me some captions.
Here's a clip of the Oscar-nominated song that runs through the movie.
Just beautiful. Enjoy....
Good lord. This movie made me have a crush on a REDHEAD for crying out loud!!
Sigh....
Monday, February 11, 2008
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