This AIN'T my Texas!!!

So last weekend I drove from San Antonio to Portland, Texas to surprise my mom for her 60th bay. It was a beautiful Sunday morning: sunny, warm, breezy, clear as a mutha-f-ing bell. Just perfect. Made me really homesick for the beautiful Texas hill country and coastal bend....until....I came upon this van about an hour south of San Antonio. Thank goodness I had the camera right next to me.


(it reads: Christians agains Hussain Obama Dangerous Muslim and has pictures of Michelle Obama.)

THIS is precisely why I can't consider moving back to Texas right now. I know this kind of ridiculous crap is rampant across our United States, but somehow it just hurts a lot more when I see/hear it in Texas. THIS is not my Texas. My Texas was never one of the more progressive states in the Union, but holy s$##. This is just depressing. Where's our LBJ? Where's our Lloyd Bentsen? Where's our Barbara Jordan or Ann Richards? Dead and buried...and seemingly forgotten. It just breaks my heart.

When I read, hear, or see crazy stuff like this in Oregon (usually outside of the Portland/Salem/Eugene area), I can dismiss it as those 'f-ed up Oregonians'. I really don't have an emotional investment in the state of Oregon. I love where I live and I'm happy to be in a place with so many like-minded people, but for the most part, I don't feel attached to Oregon. I don't care if the state is full of redneck rubes, it's not my state.

But Texas....dear Texas....that's another story. I can't be there seeing the poor, the minorities, the old being duped into believing Republican lies. My own father has been seduced by AM talk radio. Thankfully, his deep Democratic roots wouldn't let him vote against his own interests and vote for McCain. But what about next time? When he's 67--with 4 more years of Republican mind-washing? If my own blue-collar, God-fearing, "the man"-hating, yellow-dog-Democrat father can fall victim to their lies, no wonder my home state is where it's at.

PLEASE, let Obama be the hope and the change needed to show everyone, particularly Texans, the truth about Republicans. That they're NOT interested in helping the poor, the old, the minorities or anyone, for that matter, who makes less than $500,000 a year. They cry about taxes, but they're not the ones paying them! The rich always manage to weasel out of paying their taxes. Why else would anyone "bank" in the Cayman Islands and Dubai?? To avoid being taxed!

Deep cleansing breath....vote obama. He's sweet.

mexican memories: dos

Here are a few more I just remembered....

--NOW: I could feel my thigh-hairs blowing in the wind as I was sunning myself. Sadly, somewhere along the line I've become my mom and have stopped shaving above the knee as often as I should. THEN, I would have shaved every bit of my legs...and then some. Meow! (not to worry, I was appalled at myself and promptly got rid of the long locks blowing in the wind--a gross feeling, by the way)
--NOW: I listened to my iPod on the beach....of a 60 Minutes podcast!!!!! WTF?!?!?! Seriously, how OLD am I??!?!?!?!?! THEN, I toted a 40-lb boombox from Texas to Cancun in order to listen to Soundgarden CDs, and now I'm listening to something only 80 year-olds care about?!?! ugh. sad. I blame the upcoming election for this behavior.
--NOW: I carried a purse everywhere I went...with a packet of kleenex in it! Only grandmas carry a permanent stash of Kleenex on them at all times! THEN, it was $ and lipstick (wine with everything by Revlon)and a hotel key in the pocket and that was IT!
--NOW: I wore long skirts to hide my girth and BodyGlide to prevent chafing from my giant thighs rubbing together. THEN: two words--Daisy Dukes.

Regardless, I intend on going back to the area again and again, as long as I can. It's just too beautiful. The water in Cancun is so turquoise, it truly almost hurts to look at it. So vibrant. I hope to add a photo of the water soon...gotta download from the camera.

Can't wait to go back. If my lady-bits don't work and there aren't any babies in my future, expect to find me plunking down my $$$ on a beachfront condo. My fantasy is to look like this lady by the time I'm 45.

mexican memories

I halfway composed this blog while sunning myself on the beach a couple of weeks ago, but life being as it is I'm just now getting around to actually writing it up!

My husband and I recently spent a week near Playa del Carmen and I had all sorts of thoughts and observations swirling around. This was the first time I visited the Cancun area with a man...and only the 2nd time I'd been there not "on the prowl". What a weird sensation, I have to say. Here's a brief list of things that are different in Mexico as a 36 year old married woman than as a 24 year old single lady....

--NOW: there's a LOT more of me to love. I think I'm 40 pounds heavier than the first time I visited Cancun at age 20. At this rate I'll be 800 pounds by the time I go at age 50! Slow down, vaca!
--NOW:i stayed at a fancy resort...not the cheap-ass place that was available for 2 nights/3 days for $239 air/hotel included. Then again, it was not exactly about the hotel back then. It was all about having a place to change from swimsuits to skank-wear and sleep off the buzz before starting over again.
--NOW: i was in bed watching tv (YES, TV!! i love it!) by 11:00 every night. Shoot, back in the day, that's when we'd be transitioning from beer to hard alcohol...with tragic consequences.
--NOW: i actually ate good, quality, mexican food. Then, I remember eating at DENNEY'S and KFC!! WTF?!?! Of course, that was after eating guacamole, chips and quesadillas all day.
--NOW: I drove past the clubs in Cancun...during the daytime. Then, we'd close the dang things down! We even rode in the back of a pickup with a bunch of the waiters back to our hotel! WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!? (sad note: of our favorite bars, only Daddy O's is still around. La Boom is bust, Fat Tuesday's is gone, Tequila Rock is a fancy shopping center...SAD!!)
--Now: I didn't flirt with a single waiter!! Then, if we weren't kissing them, dancing with them, hugging them or taking their pictures, we were screaming at them about how awesome they were and how much we wanted to live in Cancun.
--Now: I was referred to as "Señora". OUCH. Then, I was "chica, linda, amor" etc. Damn my husband (and the aging process)(or ruining my game!


I'll add to this with more mexican memories...for now i gotta go home and wash down my sorrows with tequila and lime.

me + cardio classes at gym = uncoordinated mess!

Because of my high school's woefully pathetic cheerleading "squad", I've long believed that cheerleading had nothing to do with preparation for useful, valuable or interesting life skills. Well, let me just say, I was WRONG!

The only "skills" our high school cheerleaders had involved doing that jump in the air with one leg in front, the other cocked back in some hook, or something, and screaming "go cats" every 3 seconds. HOWEVER, I'm pretty sure even THEY were trained in the art of the 'step-ball-change', 'grapevine, and the ever-elusive 'air-jack'.

How I wish I'd been enrolled in a dance class where I might have learned these things instead of 5 years of boring old ballet. Ballet was so slow and tedious: pointing toes, bending, and stretching arms. These moves hardly prepare one for step aerobics, kickboxing or zumba. I'm so uncoordinated and awkward looking, it's sad. My air-jack (a jumping jack where you're supposed to leap into the air) gets about 6 inches off the ground. My grapevine has quite literally made me twist MY KNEE (WTF?!?!?). My step-ball change includes about 3 more steps than anyone else in the room. I've been doing cardio classes for about 4-5 years now, off and on, and I still have no idea what i'm doing. I think having even a small amount of dance training prepares your body (and brain) to move quickly.

Zumba is what was previous known as 'latin moves' or salsa. My hips (though of considerable girth) do not move as fluidly as the 45 year old size 0 instructor. i left mid-class last night because (a) didn't want to miss project runway and (b)i was stomping around in place so long i realized i wasn't really working out. just staring at the instructor and trying to coordinate my legs and arms.

so, from now on...all children under the age of 10 should be exposed to at least 2 years of dance: preferrably tap/jazz/hiphop. Ballet is about as dull as a box of rocks and not nearly as fun. 3rd position, my arse!