deeeelightful.

I’d just like to clarify something ickily female: “spotting” isn’t cute. It’s nothing like a Dalmatian, or a polka-dotted skirt, or even raindrops on a windshield. It’s more like a “smear”. Like something on your shoe after walking through a dog park, or what you wipe off a toddler’s nose. In other words, it ain’t fun or funny. Ugh.

books of note...summer 2008!

I thought I'd share a list of books I've read (or started reading) this summer. I've been on a bit of a tear (being laid up and all...).

I started the summer reading both a book club book (Last Empress) and American classic, Native Son. HOLY CRAP! Native Son is H-E-A-V-Y!!! Really remarkable given when it was published (1940). It gives such a powerful vision of what it was like to be a black man in America at that time. Looking at Barack Obama and where he is poised to be in the fall, it speaks volumes on how far we've come as a society. But dang, this book was ROUGH! I'd like to read the Cliff Notes on it to see what all I missed (i'm real dumb and don't comprehend a lot of stuff). :)

Madeleine is Sleeping (bookclub book). What a nutty, delightful, dreamy book! Follows Madeleine (from the children's books) as she sleeps (snow white-style) and dreams about all kinds of wacky, sexy, grisly things. Really fun read. Also, the book cover photo (taken by Alice in Wonderland author, Lewis Carroll) is just gorgeous. Easy, lovely, reading.

Housekeeping. I honestly don't remember this one at all. All I know is, that I missed bookclub by a WEEK! It was during my convalescence, so naturally, I was a little confused. I sent an email to the entire bookgroup telling how I'd be there with bells on and included some pathetically witty remark about how my potluck offering would match up with the book's theme....on the DAY AFTER THE MEETING!! sheesh! what a dork.
OH! Ok, after looking it up on Amazon, I remember now. It was about a couple of orphan girls whose nutty lost-long aunt comes to take care of them... and basically clutters up the joint and their lives.

After that I had to look at my bookshelf for things I hadn't already read (not able to leave the bed/house it was slim pickins around here!). I finally dusted off the copy of "In the Time of the Butterflies" by Julia Alvarez that my brother had given me a few xmases ago...in SPANISH! I had been meaning to read it but wasn't looking forward to the mental gymnastics required. I think I understood about 90% of it. There are a HELL of a lot of words I don't know! In fact, I learned how to say 'cleavage' in spanish...but have since forgotten it (not having many opportunities to use such a description).

Once I'd finished that, it was close to my bday, so I was flush with bday money! I bought "Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom" by Oprah's va-jay-jay doctor from Amazon because I saw about 10 minutes of her talking about how a woman in the audience suffering from cripplingly painful fibroids was actually creating her own condition by not nurturing her creativity...and because she was with a dead-beat boyfriend. This crazy s%$# is for ME, i thought.
Once it arrived, I flipped right to the ovarian cyst section and read that I TOO had caused my condition by neglecting my creative center! Huh! I guess she forgot that I had actually created something quite fanciful and macabre...my buttery hairball creatures....all in the recesses of my cooter! Take THAT Doctor! Before I could summon the woo-woo mindset necessary to read the book, my brother saved me once again.

For my bday he and his lady sent me a signed copy of "When You Are Engulfed in Flames" by David Sedaris. Surely, not as funny as "Me Talk Pretty One Day", easily one of the better things I've read in a while. In this book, David and his partner move to Japan for a few months so he (david) can quit smoking. I especially liked the description of the cooky songs played at the grocery store: "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow", "Rock-a-bye Baby", "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious", "The Bear Went Over the Mountain" and "Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, it's home from work we go". This delights me to no end. My only similar experience was hearing the "Only Coca-Cola" tune and the "Eyes of Texas" at a
Vietnamese restaurant here in Pdx. Nutty!

Once I was mobile, I picked up the next bookclub book, "The Laments" about a family whose baby is switched (with their permission) and their travels around the world. A good, lighter than you might think book. Nothing to go nuts over, but it's entertaining and bittersweet.

Because it was so dang easy to read, I returned it to the library and bought another book that I might recommend we read for bookclub 08-09: "The Dogs of Babel". It's about a grieving widower who tries to teach his dog to talk to find out why his wife killed herself. A bit of a downer, but entertaining and quick to read as well. I was up the other night until 3 finishing it. It was one of those 24-hour reads.

Now, I'm killing time until we select new bookclub books next week. I'll probably end up reading "Start Strong, Finish Strong" (SIGNED copy!!) by the Coopers of the Cooper Clinic in Dallas (xmas present from mom-in-law). It's all about "prescriptions for a lifetime of great health".
Or else I'll go back to the infant/toddler development textbook my previous boss at work recommended I read,
or the Reggio Emilia educational philosophy book my current boss lent me to read...last year. I kinda feel obligated to finish and return it before one of us retires!

Any suggestions on things to read??? That DON'T involve exercise or educational/developmental philosophy?!?!

Feeling good. DAMN good!

Oy. After a couple of weeks spent laid up in bed with television and ‘hillbilly heroin’, then another couple of ‘light duty’ if I were in the manual labor workforce, I think I’m almost feeling normal. The unfortunate thing is that I can now move almost as clumsily and awkwardly as before my belly came into contact with what I can only imagine was a 12 inch O.J.-style “hunting” knife. One positive: when I look at myself naked (which I avoid as much as possible) I’ve discovered that my torso looks like a giant, lumpy, contemptuous face. Baggy “eyes” (my rockin’ 34Ds), red and puffy “nose” (my still-healing laparoscopicly-invaded belly button) and an indignant pink smirk (my 5 inch incision). I’m loovly.
The thing about healing is, I can now do more than sit around and moan. After my surgery, I was able to sit and bark out orders. Too much in pain to make the salmon, I used all my teaching skills to lead my husband through the fine art of oiling the cedar plank, heating the oven and squeezing lime over the top. My secret is out. What looks (to him) like a complicated culinary ordeal is easier than Kraft mac n’ cheese. (mmmm craving mac n’ cheese)
Tragically, I think I’m also able to scoop the cat litter, too. I’ve gone 4 weeks avoiding it because I told James it wasn’t “sanitary” for my wound to be near poop….because I hold the litter scoop with my cooter?!?! Thankfully he hasn’t questioned that.

Ok. Off to put on my housedress from Walmart (less than $10 if you can believe such a bargain!), pour my red wine (it’s like, medicine, y’all!) and get tipsy enough to scoop poop before watching the finale (so soon?!?!) of “So You Think You Can Dance”. My faves are not in the finale, so I’ll probably have a 2nd glass of “medicine” (I’m HEALTHY, y’all!) to make me care.

Here are my favorites from SYTYCD doing a hip-hop routine that almost made me cry (check out the face on the girl!)! I LURVE YOU CHELSIE AND MARK!!!!! (it's a long clip, skip the interview part and the judges at the end!)

My mosaic! Thanks, Sara!

I copied Sara and did my very own mosaic



Here are the questions and my answers:
1. my name: clarissa (LOVE this picture!!)
2. favorite food: spaghetti
3. high school: GP (gregory portland didn't come up with anything good)
4. favorite color: red
5. celebrity crush: clive owen
6. favorite drink: red wine (but i loved the picture of the beers!)
7. dream vacation: duh, maldives
8. favorite dessert: brownies (she had brownie *cameras* so i went for the snow white baby. cute!!)
9. when i grow up i wanna be: happy
10: what i love more than anything: food (boy, it was hard finding something i liked on this guy's deal!)
11. word that best describes me: still (more positive sounding than "inert")
12. my flickr name: clarissamtz didn't come up with anything, duh, so i used garcia espana--love the shoe store picture!