Feeling good. DAMN good!

Oy. After a couple of weeks spent laid up in bed with television and ‘hillbilly heroin’, then another couple of ‘light duty’ if I were in the manual labor workforce, I think I’m almost feeling normal. The unfortunate thing is that I can now move almost as clumsily and awkwardly as before my belly came into contact with what I can only imagine was a 12 inch O.J.-style “hunting” knife. One positive: when I look at myself naked (which I avoid as much as possible) I’ve discovered that my torso looks like a giant, lumpy, contemptuous face. Baggy “eyes” (my rockin’ 34Ds), red and puffy “nose” (my still-healing laparoscopicly-invaded belly button) and an indignant pink smirk (my 5 inch incision). I’m loovly.
The thing about healing is, I can now do more than sit around and moan. After my surgery, I was able to sit and bark out orders. Too much in pain to make the salmon, I used all my teaching skills to lead my husband through the fine art of oiling the cedar plank, heating the oven and squeezing lime over the top. My secret is out. What looks (to him) like a complicated culinary ordeal is easier than Kraft mac n’ cheese. (mmmm craving mac n’ cheese)
Tragically, I think I’m also able to scoop the cat litter, too. I’ve gone 4 weeks avoiding it because I told James it wasn’t “sanitary” for my wound to be near poop….because I hold the litter scoop with my cooter?!?! Thankfully he hasn’t questioned that.

Ok. Off to put on my housedress from Walmart (less than $10 if you can believe such a bargain!), pour my red wine (it’s like, medicine, y’all!) and get tipsy enough to scoop poop before watching the finale (so soon?!?!) of “So You Think You Can Dance”. My faves are not in the finale, so I’ll probably have a 2nd glass of “medicine” (I’m HEALTHY, y’all!) to make me care.

Here are my favorites from SYTYCD doing a hip-hop routine that almost made me cry (check out the face on the girl!)! I LURVE YOU CHELSIE AND MARK!!!!! (it's a long clip, skip the interview part and the judges at the end!)