Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Fricken Eva and Tony!!

I spoke to my parents the other night and they said that the Corpus news was reporting that Eva and Tony were going to TURKS AND CAICOS on their dang honeymoon!!!!!!
That's where I went!!!! They totally stole my idea. This after that moronothon Tom Cruise steals my fantasy destination of Maldives!!!!! UGH!
Apparently Tony and Eva flew on a private jet from Miami and are staying somewhere where it costs $10,000 a night, so it's VERY similar to my experience (HA!!). Whatever.
Not that i'm jealous....who'd want to be stuck on the beach with....a strapping young athlete......having every whim indulged by servants......ok. That does make me jealous. Hmmph.

One day I'll snag an NBA baller and the rest of my days will be filled with shoes, lip gloss and a high tolerance for my spouse cheating on me while on the road. As long as I get a ring like Kobe's wife...I'm GOOD!

sad!

Lady Bird Johnson died! Bless her heart, she was 94 years old and had had a stroke a while back, was blind and pretty feeble...but she was Lady Bird.
Poor dear.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Who currs about Tony and Eva?!?!

Not me, that's for dang sure!! (though the fact that I've devoted a rare post to these nincompoops suggests otherwise)

That skank is from fricken Corpus Christi, Texas....and she gets married in FRANCE?!?! WTF?!?! Ohhhhh. Tony Parker is Fraunch. That actually makes it even worse! What self-respecting Texan forsakes her homeland to get married in FRANCE of all places?!?! Anywhere else in the world would have been better. Gettin married in a minidress on Friday then the religious ceremony in a mermaid dress...SKANK! Havin a reception in a dang castle...played out (ever heard of Madonna? Tom Cruise? puhleeze). FIREWORKS?!?!? CHHHHHEEEEEEEESSSSSSYYYYYYYY!!!!!! Look what fireworks did to Brad and Jen's marriage. Doomed it. Right from the beginning.

Am I jealous?! Heck no! I guaran-dang-tee you this blessed event will end miserably and all they'll have are the global newspapers reporting on how much they spent vs. how long they were married. HA! You think an athelete and a soap star (honestly, she went from AM to PM, but she's still in soaps)have a long and happy future together? Imagine their conversations: "Blahblahblahblah le basketball she feeeeelze me wit passion", "Blahblahblahblah my shoes", "Blahblahblahblah le foul shots mock me", "Blahblahblahblah my weight". My skin is a-cah-RAWLIN!
Eventually he'll get old and unable to play. She'll get old and unable to find roles. Soon they'll be unemployed, bored, frustrated, and THEN the fireworks will begin. Let's just hope they don't procreate. Though he/she would be gorgeous, of average height, and average physical abilities, he/she would most likely be dim. Hmm. Sounds like most people I love to watch on television. Maybe they should go ahead and pop out some beautiful numbskulls. They amuse me.

Do not give these incredibly boring 'celebrities' any attention until their offspring is able to model for the cover of Teen People. At least when JLo and Ben were planning their wedding it was EXCITING. For being so exotically attractive, these dolts are as interesting as wet toast*.

Gotta skat. Hopefully i'll have more to report on who NOT to pay attention to tomorrow.

*fyi: "wet toast" is my ultimate measurement of boredom (like the pink Power Ranger girl that sucked the life out of the show, Felicity).