mah melons!!

Holy crap!!
I went to Nordstrom today to use up a gift card on a few new brassieres (a couple of my old raggedy ones are now pokin and itchin me). I figured I'd go for a proper bra fitting. Sounds like a fun Saturday afternoon, right?! :)

Well, I followed the girl into the dressing room and she had me take off my top and take a look at my tatas in their current state--a lacy thing that i thought was far less embarrassing than the other dingy ones lurking in my lingerie drawer. She took one look and said, "well, that's too small". She measured my torso and told me I was a..............












(wait for it).....................



















.............34 D!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WTF?!?!?! Never in my life have I ever been able to appropriately fill in a B cup!!! In fact, I was wearing a 36 A!!!!!! I was convinced she was kidding with me, but she poked around and pointed out all the side boob-fat that was hangin out the sides and reminded me that when I took off my shirt my bra nearly popped up and off. Hmm. I was still unconvinced until she went off and found me a few 34 Ds (still can't type that without shaking my head in disbelief) to try on.

OMG!! They FIT!! She adjusted the straps and had me lean over to jiggle my gals into place (I'd NEVER done that before) then stood up and looked in the mirror. NOT A GAP IN THE CUP ANYWHERE!!!! I was stunned. I was feelin all busty and gorgeous, so I went and bought 3 new pairs plus a few new Hanky Panties (OUCH!! Thank goodness for the stimulus check coming my way!). I have to admit, my boobs do look way better in my fancy new bra (she threw my old one away and let me wear my new one out), but I still can't believe I'm wearing a D cup!! However, one important point, I still ain't got no cleavage. What a rip-off!

Well, I was walkin around the Nordstrom feelin all Pam Anderson and whatnot, so I called a friend to brag about my "new" boobs. She just laughed and said, "oh, now THAT'S a good weight-gain story". SNAP!! She's totally right! I didn't gain 2-3 cup sizes in awesome boob (otherwise i'd have cleavage), I gained 2-3 cup sizes in FAT. Just like everywhere else on my rapidly aging body! UGH!!

Oh well, I'll take it. I can't lose weight now, I'll lose all this side-boob that's plumping up my bra!

yippee for back/side fat!!