jet settin'

I've been on 5 airplane trips in 6 weeks! WTF?!?! Granted, most were short hops for work, but holy crap! I'm due for another flight for work in less than 3 weeks and then 2 weeks after that I'm flying home for Christmas! SHEEEESH!

I wish I had some hilarious witticisms on travel, but I ain't no stinkin comedian. I'm just tarred and ready for a weekend without the suitcase lurking. Here are a few recent thoughts on air travel....

* The only thing worse than being behind a family with small children at the airport security line is being behind the airline crew--especially the fabulously young guys. These guys have about a million electronic devices and ziploc bags that need to be removed from their high maintenence heavy-duty luggage!

* I wish I were a hottie-who-travels. These pharmacy reps (or whatever they do) wear cheap but tight black suits, high heels, they have hot purses and a real hairdo. Whatever it is they do, it must be pretty lucrative to pay for them boobs, too! I ungracefully schlep my way through the airport in baggy pants, a sweater and Danskos (easy to remove and COMFY) with a wet head--too lazy to dry my hair. NOT hot.

*Commuter airline gates at PDX = bus stations. Seriously. Ewww.

*God bless the sweet when you're traveling. For reals. I was having a particularly rough time of managing 2 rolling bags, my purse, and a sweater at the DFW rental car pavilion earlier this week. I hoisted one bag onto the bus that would take me to the terminal, turned to grab the other and noticed I'd dropped my sweater on the ground. By the time I picked up my sweater and turned to hoist bag #2, I saw a VERY attractive young man pick up bag #2 (about 50 lbs)and put it on the rack thingy. Awww!! So nice! Ain't no stranger ever done such a sweet thing for me in Portland, that's for sure! Suh-WEEET!

*To 'pay it forward' I switched my seat on the flight back to Portland so a hippie could sit with his girlfriend. Does karma count if by switching seats I also just happened to move about 10 rows up and away from a crying baby??

*I'm pretty sure I was snoring on the flight back to Portland. Pathetic.

*Helpful hint: NEVER volunteer to sit next to a chatty unaccompanied minor unless you're looking to be canonized as a saint....which I am not.

*Turbulence = me s****ing my pants. beware.

happy travels, suckas!